This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

Too late, we're on to you now, time traveller.

Wait, should I not be doing that?

Well to be fair, sometimes a giant talking tree is really in need of some inspiring words.

Now they can all get jobs as PIs when they retire from astronauting.

One, two falafels kneel before you
That's what I said now

🎶Look what they done to my link, Wha🎶

Big day for all the Gailthra shippers.

“But they were all of them deceived, for a 43rd head was made.”

Unfortunately every male resident of these nations becomes a Man Without a Country when he retires (since there’s No Country for Old Men).

I believe it's an offshoot of SPECTRE.

I believe this was also the reasoning behind Zoobilee Zoo.

A coo-ty call?

Butterflies absolutely deserve more respect and it's so unfair that people keep dunking on them for being illiterate.

(We get it kids, it's great that you love reading so much, but you absolutely cannot go "twice as high")

The Feds Targeted Charlotte. Now a Local Democrat Who Helped ICE Faces Voters. - Bolts North Carolina lawmaker Carla Cunningham voted to mandate compliance with ICE, and derided immigrants on the House floor. The Democrat faces an intense March primary.

JUST IN: North Carolina's Dem lawmaker Carla Cunningham gave the GOP the decisive vote to pass a law forcing police to comply with ICE. She said "all cultures are not equal."

She just lost reelection BIG in the Dem primary to a progressive pastor & activist, Rodney Sadler. 70% to 22%!

Context:

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy

And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled,
"You'll come a-walking pneumonia, with me."

i worry that a 5-year stretch of nothing but ads for NFTs, bitcoin, and AI is a long enough gap that this nation's once-great advertising industry will forget how to sell a product people actually want

Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly said "you know what, fair, you seem super busy."

Still from the animated series Kite Man, Hell Yeah! [Spoiler Warning]. Conjoined twin gangsters Moe and Joe Dubelz sit behind a bar, facing the viewer. They are in a shared grey or light black suit, and both wear yellow ties. Moe, stage right, stares straight ahead with a normal human face. His elbow is on the table and his hand upraised, and there is a mug of beer in front of him. Joe, stage left, is a slumped and decaying skull, having been shot to death in a previous episode. The upper right half of his skull is missing, exposing the brain, with a fly circling overhead.

Build the wall! Build the wall!

extremely cringe early 2000s youth group-looking poster, gray background with aggressive black and white text of all different sizes (chaotic. terrible design). The header reads “DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK GOD CAN’T USE YOU?” and it WAS followed by a list of Bible figures with their various “faults.” I have very poorly photoshopped in some corrections. My version reads as follows: NOAH INVENTED RAINBOWS (GAY) FATHER ABRAHAM HAD SEVEN SONS IF ISAAC CHOTINER CALLS, DO NOT PICK UP JACOB WRESTLED WITH AN ANGEL (ALSO GAY) LEAH I HAVE NO BEEF WITH JOSEPH SERVED LEWKS MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES ARE ROSES GIDEON... ALSO DID STUFF (I remembered nothing about Gideon sorry guys!!!!!) SAMSON HAD MAD GAME PROBABLY RAHAB YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG EW, DAVID ELIJAH WAS A REAL BAAL BUSTER (insert Dad Joke groan I’m so sorry) ISAIAH PREACHED NAKED, WERK RIP JONAH YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED "STAR TREK V" NAOMI WAS LOWKEY GAY FOR RUTH JOB HAD A LOT GOING ON, GUYS PETER DESERVES A MORE SUBSTANTIAL ROLE IN “JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR,” THIS HAS ALWAYS BUGGED ME THE DISCIPLES GIVE HIMBO ENERGY TBH MARTHA FEEDS YOU GUYS FOR FREE, YOU’RE WELCOME THE SAMARITAN WOMAN WAS FINE THINK?? ZACCHEUS WAS A SHORT KING PAUL SUCKED UNFORTUNATELY TIMOTHY HAD AN ULCER WHICH IS TOO BAD LAZARUS WAS DEAD TO BEGIN WITH

*clears throat*

*taps mic*

I had some edits

thank you to @sbarolo.bsky.social and @ajdemas.bsky.social for their Jeremiah and Lazarus jokes which gave me the idea for this

I think it still works. I mean, to be fair, if God basically chased me into the belly of a whale, I think I'd be less on board with saving the whales and more on board with trying to blow up God.

I want to adopt one but I'm not sure if they're legal in my state, so I guess I'll just visit my local CFM nature preserve.

There's no fatuous reply but what we make for ourselves.

Cloud Migrations Aren't Real

That's where you're wrong. Because I'm going to win this thread with the most dangerous reply stunt since Dukakis skeeted the Snake River Canyon.

You know what hurts the most, Amanda? This nail I just stepped on. But there's a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most and that's from you making Clone High references.

As someone who has ongoing issues with floaters, this makes so much sense.

Yes but are they in network with most major insurance plans?