does anyone else miss who they they were before their frontal lobe fully developed and gave them a crippling fear of failure?

no? just me? ok

one more minor inconvenience and i’ll handle a mfer like bottom shelf vodka

i am so sorry but i don’t understand how snooki got so much hate when this show came out, she is a VIBE. the way she screeches at ceiling for the most minor inconvenience is a mood and everyone is just jealous they don’t feel that kind of genuine freedom.

“Can I speak to Angelina please?”
“No she died *click*”

ALDKFLALdlslflgl

i’m on the miami season. i miss the duck phone. this new phone is boring.

at 32 years old i’m finally in the correct headspace for jersey shore. love the situation describing the jersey house as having “a number of rooms”, we love an observant king

still haunted by the framed picture of Reba I found at Goodwill and left behind like the stupid idiot fool that i am

i’ll think my life is boring but then i remember that when i was 23 the family that ran the nail place i went to was OBSESSED with Adam Sandler and every TV behind the nail techs were playing his movies every time i went. when something funny happened the whole family would laugh almost in unison.

quick question, how do you make someone know you love them so so much even though you don’t speak or see each other anymore, not in the hopes that they’ll reciprocate but just to make them feel warm for a brief moment

like i’m not the most raucous or engaging neighbor but like damn people used to just be outside and now they…aren’t. for some reason. and i didn’t realize how much it bothers me until now.

i have an older gentleman living next door to me and he’s been sitting on our shared walkway/balcony blasting Led Zeppelin and enjoying the sun while the breeze blows tree fluffies everywhere and honestly i feel like this is what life is supposed to be about

marker graffiti on an inside painted brick wall FUCK HARD SHIT LOUD PISS FAST

tired: “live laugh love”

inspired:

it just hit me that there will come a day that is the last time i ever have salmon, and it will be because of global warming or cost or my demise, but it will happen and i will not know and that makes me profoundly sad

why do squirrels have massive wizard hands

i kind of want to have the vibe where someone looks and me and wonders whether i perform exorcisms or cause them

accidentally put up the perfect ponytail without even looking in the mirror. i’ve peaked and it’s all downhill from here for me, i’m afraid.

They made me pay $700 for a simple swab that I performed myself. It’s almost an entire rent payment for me. I almost didn’t pay it purely out of spite.

fuck u!!!!!!!!!! #art

Turn down the radio. Turn off the television. Listen. Listen to the birds. They're talking mad shit about you, loser

ur not single bc of an unreasonable standard KYLE ur single bc you’re boring and unkind and won’t bring ur woman animal bones after work

i find it so laughable when male dating coaches try to soothe their audience by saying they’re single bc women only want riches, fame, looks etc etc when my type is fucking this:

I wonder what it’s like to have that much time to waste

Even in video games 🥲 Et tu, Harvey?

getting a text and having it be work related 99.999% of the time regardless of what day of the week i receive it is giving me severe psychic damage

i went back to meat after being vegetarian 20 years for health reasons. after the first week i felt like i could hammer toss a dumpster into the sun.

every time someone that listens to highly politically charged music/ takes part in the scene says “music shouldn’t be political” i short circuit because HOW

question, would it be possible as private citizens to show up to any event where the giant orange bitch talks and play those plastic 5th grade recorders at full volume so no one can hear him? could we organize that? bc i’m not good at much beyond being incredibly annoying

i’m watching the og godzilla and i am LIVING for this muppet looking ass googly eyed bitch. practical effects are truly top tier.

TRYING TO KEEP IT CUTE BUT I’M AT MY FUCKING LIMIT DAWG

#art #digitalart #cute #pink #blood

i’m a simple lady, i don’t feel like i’m asking for much when i say i want a man who is so desperately in love with me that he swears he tastes the heavens themselves when his lips are pressed against my skin