a man with a beard is looking at a computer screen with mathematical equations coming out of it . Alt: Zach Galifinakis from the Hangover is looking at mathematical equations.

FBI director

Zombie Washington Post stumbling around, mindlessly destructive and existing primarily as sad reminder that America used to have a great newspaper by that name.

Trump started a redistricting fight and got his ass handed to him.

Trump picked a redistricting fight and got his nose bloodied. Paper tiger bully loser.

Wait - are you saying that Trump started a conflict that he didn’t understand and now he’s paying the price for it?

Wait - are you saying that Trump started a conflict that he didn’t understand and now he’s paying the price for it?

Markwayne is markdumb

Is he calling for resignations at CPAC?

From “The Simpsons” house genius John Swartzwelder, interviewed in The New Yorker by Mike Sacks

Chopped up hot dogs in a big ol’ bread bowl

Springsteen - Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?

“Broadway Mary, Joan Fontaine”

Elvis Costello - Jack of all Parades

"Once I knew a girl that looked so much like Judy Garland/ That people would stop and give her money"

Jimmy Buffett - Incommunicado

"Now on the day that John Wayne died
I found myself on the continental divide"

Barenaked Ladies - One Week

"Big like LeAnn Rimes, because I'm all about value"

Jimmy Buffett - Pencil Thin Mustache

"A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy Devine"

Elvis Costello - Suit of Lights

"While Nat King Cole sings 'Welcome To My World'"

Springsteen -- Johnny Bye Bye

"I'll be going down there if you need a ride
The man on the radio says Elvis Presley's died"

I would watch a spinoff show of the Pitt doctors outside the hospital. Pirates games, karaoke, sitting in motorcycle repair shops, going to therapy, etc.

Call it The Sburgh

Jungleland

Hegseth’s Prayer: "So he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch."

SCOTUS has the legislative veto tied up in their trunk.

Seems like Trump’s long-standing feud is with basic decency.

Homan: Shut up and accept cash bribes in Cava bags

Did you catch a glimpse of the lottery numbers on the other side?

Oh great - so now she might have ear herpes

Let’s be clear. There is no reason to assume JD Vance is bright.

He has little experience, no accomplishments to speak of, and was plucked from obscurity by a fragile egoed president who didn’t want to be upstaged.

Vance is the least qualified VP in modern American history.

Hegseth: And, lo, the angel came unto them and said,

“We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on, Yolanda, what's Fonzie like?”

She said “cool” and that was correctamundo.

“Actually” is his tell. It’s when he 100 percent knows he’s lying.

Lutnick seems pretty confident that he and Trump are Epstein bros for life