I don’t know how this didn’t get more attention!

Upon further reflection, psychologically, the car is my friend.

It’s our 19 year purchase anniversary next month so only appropriate I get her a gift.

Happy to have bought the only replacement ECU on eBay that would work for my make and model.

The old girl is worth a hell if a lot more than that to me! Only 200k miles, pristine engine, manual transmission, in otherwise good shape except the ECU died which (extremely important in Phoenix) meant no A/C.

Happy to be spending 125% of my 2002 Honda CRV’s KBB value to repair it. This sounds foolish until you find out the KBB is $400.

Took an edible and had a major brainstorm: "Edibles... but without THC!" and that's the story of how I invented food.

Mom: i dont like all those weed stores on the highway that are all lit up. It makes me uncomfortable

Me: comfort is a prison that instills weakness

Mom: remember the other day when you asked why youre single?

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

“Grief is the price of love” I say for the 8000th time while I cry over my beloved departed dog. It is so hard but remains a bargain.

damn girl, are you a tiny chunk of cat food? because i just accidentally ate you off a cutting board because i thought you were a banana bread crumb. i don't think i'm doing this format right

When they said "AI will increase productivity" I didn't realize they meant "AI code will crash the social media networks on which I procrastinate, forcing me to actually do my job"

Three people you don't want to get into a public beef with are Kendrick, Isaac Chotiner, and The Pope

My wife forgot to close the back door now she gets to chase me through the neighborhood

Drawing of a pale purple tube man in an astronaut suit with giant green boobs (???) honestly kind of unclear.

My friends’ 5 year old son drew this yesterday and I have to say unequivocally and without hesitation that This Is Me.

Romeo (Leo DiCaprio) collapsed on his knees and crying hysterically because he thinks Juliet is dead

Once again I am expected to prepare my own dinner

rest assured. i have brought all the urine

What I like best about the Artemis II photos is that it was taken by actual humans. An actual person had to frame it and manually adjust settings. It's their own artistic rendition of what they thought looked best at the time, something no probe, rover or unmanned spacecraft can take. it's art

Every Saturday I make my husband procure me coffee as reparations but I call it dumb bitch juice to somewhat confuse the messaging

Now that they’re safe on the ground we.. ocean, I can make a joke

OMG ARTEMIS IS IN TROUBLE WE’RE GETTING REPORTS OF A GIANT CAT BATTING THEM OUT OF THE SKY OH THE HUMANITY

BEHIND THE SCENES: A MEME IS MADE

A wider view of the pic where the dog chew replaces the cat’s (appearing to be) cut off arm.

A wider view of the pic where the dog chew replaces the cat’s (appearing to be) cut off arm.

Alternative pic of the meme where the dog chew replaces the cat’s (appearing to be) cut off arm.

Alternative pic of the meme where the dog chew replaces the cat’s (appearing to be) cut off arm.

I am posting exclusive outtakes of the infamous “nearly had a heart attack” cat pic. A Bluesky dot com exclusive!!!

Friend: Are you growing your hair out?

Me: Honestly I have no idea. I never thought I'd live this long

Cheese is so overrated

A young Maltese zooms in front of a judgmental orange cat who looks on with disdain. They’re in a living room.

This picture is 13 years old and the orange cat in it passed away on Tuesday at the ripe old age of 19. His name was Crooked Tail & he was an amazing friend. He was my college buddy for a couple years and then went to live with my parents. The little white blur, Pogo, is still alive. Pets rule.

It’s a dog chew

photo of individual pieces of the board game LIFE

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

A delightful time as always talking to Ed Z about what intelligence is and isn't, the bold gambit of IPO'ing as a meme stock, and where in the tech bubble we currently are. Also the Raiders. defector.com/a-feast-of-s...

happy confederate surrender day! let us remember the sacrifice of those who suffered and died to end one of the most wretched institutions ever created, and also remember that next time we need to hang the fuckin’ traitors