"Who thought USB hairdryers were a good idea?"

"In Soviet Russia, crotch grabs you!"

"One of these days I'm gonna play an evil bard that offers spellcasters gum just to ruin their concentration checks."

"Why does this character sheet have something that says PROBING GOUGE!?"

Wizard "what is THAT!?"
Rogue "It's a gibbering diddler."
DM "JAIL!"

"We hqve a rogue here, I'm not sticking my fingers in there."

Getting prepped for surgery, looks at the anesthesiologist *does a bump of cocaine*
"YOUR MOVE."

"I think Moebius Strip should be the third Magic Mike movie. They go to space."

Bard: "All I know is that I have a bag of pangolins burning a hole in my pocket."

Artificer: "This is taking me back to the throwing vodka incident."

"He's clearly not a functional alcoholic. In fact, he's not an alcoholic at all!"

"Here's a some alcohol and some weapons, kids. Have fun!"

"Yoooo! Who up smiting on they crit!?"

"I think I fought an umber hulk before, but I might be confused."

Ranger: "De-escalation is not in [Ranger's] vocabulary."

Ranger: "I didn't think you could critically fail a carousing roll."

"We'll call it the Prancing Pony Club."
"Oh, Chappel Appaloosa wrote a song about that one."

"It's me boy, the PS3! Speaking to you from beyond the grave!"

"She left her unconcious girlfriend in Silent Hill by accident. She's on a SCHEDULE."

Hardcase "I did not want to be in zomnbie katamari damacy today."
GM "Yet a zombie katamari damacy you are in."
Wronged "Ye best start believing in zombie katamari damacy's lad, YER IN ONE!"

"Radioactive Squirtgun is my Aquabats cover band."

"Oh no! Doom guy's here and I'm standing next to a zombie!"

"Oh no! I was keeping the chainsaw in the same bag as my hostess snack cakes and now there's cream filling in all the gears!"

"The real friends are the chainsaws we found along the way."

"You walk past damned souls in gibbets, as you pass you can hear them muttering."
"Up down left right b a b a start..."
"slash id no clip..."

"Gluten free bagel bites never comitted a genocide."

Artificer: "Why is it always three steps to blood sport with you people?!"

Ranger: "I desire a [Bard] action figure... and a bag of nails. For no reason."

Ranger: "Dibs on the sack of loose cat fur."

Artificer: "Yep, eagle mouth trap!"
Ranger: "That's my favorite genre of music."