Finally almost back to normal! I guess I did not hope hard enough, and I really did have a cold. Do not recommend!

id love to relax but my brain
just keeps opening more tabs

Meme: neon color pattern of Toad from Mario games with text that reads “stuff do be happening it be happening nag way too much fukkkkkk lmao”

I would like to request less stuff plz

Currently hoping fever and sore throat are just from my anxiety and not because I am sick. If I hope hard enough, I can make it true.

🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ better week 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️

let's avoid together

I sat at the grocery store parking lot for 40 minutes to catch up on Bluesky. This is how I show you how much I care.

It was a prime spot too.

This work thing is harshing my skeet activity.

Re-skeet if you want to re-skeet this skeet.

Microsoft dreams
turn into screams,
Oh my fucking god,
Another call on Teams.

most of my thoughts are along the lines of “fuck this” or “fuck you”

Went to the kitchen to get something with protein to eat came back with a Dirty Mountain Dew Cream Soda.

I wake up> I engage in tomfoolery >repeat Short leg cat

The only thing we should be wiping out is mosquitoes

“fuck it, we ball” - jessica fletcher

Painting of an adorable tiny black dog, in a landscape, its front paws raised off the ground

I have nothing useful to add on the general state of things right now, but I can offer a thread of canine portraits by 18th-century French painter Jean-Jacques Bachelier, who was also director of the famed Sèvres porcelain factory. First up: Mimi, the favorite dog of Madame de Pompadour, 1762

Currently trying: Eating cake about it.

Oh look, the straw that's about to break me.

[guy who has to individually carry out more discrete, complex, temporally disconnected and rewardless tasks than ever required in human history]: i think i have adhd

I'm in deep trouble. A golden bear wants to snuggle me while I'm wearing a gorilla suit. I swear I got to stop eating random baked goods.

Nothing like logging on to be distracted from the fire raging around me, to see that the flames have consumed us all.

(almost all posts are about the flames, we can't even shitpost through it today)

Ways to get through Monday:
Eat dessert for breakfast
Go commando, no one will know
Act out a scene from last show you watched
Take frequent grope breaks at work
Practice weird laughs
Order extra fries
Take frequent cries
Slap cheeks 47 times
Go to bed early

All systems are Gogh

MAKE ART DO SPELLS FUCK THE SYSTEM

𝙰𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝚂𝚈𝙲𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙸𝚂

That is horrid. I hope you get some relief asap. 💜

Ew, it's Monday again

I burned the roof of my mouth yesterday and it is really fucking annoying, thought you should know

Going to travel to work in an easter basket tomorrow to practice for my final journey to hell

My personality is 100% home grown off of sarcasm, caffeine and being correct about things that don’t matter anymore

a tiny mouse with a crown and magic wand saying you will have the best week, go on ho, the universe is working in your favor!

your horoscope