no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend

I feel a slightly desperate desire to connect with it, perhaps just because of the different reality it seemed to exist in. But the juxtaposition of new photos of the earth in space against breathless threats of nuclear war have been incompatible in my brain. I feel some loss.

They’re not boots on the ground if they’re oversized dress shoes.

a-tie-we-paid-for-blood.gif

I remember Musk’s shitty downplaying of “‘Pedo guy’ is just a thing people in South Africa say”. It makes more sense in the full context of “‘Pedo guy’ is just a thing people in South Africa say about me”.

If only it weren't for those cursed bone spurs he'd have been the best to ever do it, I'm sure.

The NFL should give him an Emmy.

What other prizes could Trump get? The Us Weekly Medal of Freedom? An IHOP Purple Heart? Wine Enthusiast Monthly's Award for Literature?

Given how UEFA institutionally hates FIFA though, I think the best thing to do would be for them to now issue their own Peace Prize to Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Or, Barack Obama.

The FIFA Peace Prize thing has my reactions torn between how objectively hilarious and pathetic it is, and deep-seated shame because… well just because I like football.

Ah! I so appreciate seeing this. Ours is 16 months now, so will definitely be cribbing from this come Christmas planning.

Did someone tell him that there’s treasure buried under the White House or something?

He’s going to emerge from the rubble filled hole in the ground clutching “actually the real constitution” declaring “see says right here: one king.”

They …bombed JD Vance? You never go full VEEP, guys.

Did they remember to write “antifa is good” on the shell at least?

Me, holding a sign that reads “No Kings, Only Frogs”

San Francisco was scorching today. Lucky we had signs for …shade.

a man in a suit is standing in the grass holding a bag and saying a-ha ! Alt: Infamous Bond movie henchman Oddjob discretely drops a golf ball from his trouser leg, allowing his employer — Donald J Trump — to cheat at golf, his alleged favourite game. (Donald Trump cheats at golf.)

Trump to sign an executive order requiring only his personal caddies be allowed to work the course at the next Ryder Cup.

Selecting and cutting large/scrolled blocks of text in iMessage appears to be actually impossible now. Focus blips in and out, keyboard comes and goes, position gets reset.

Has really fucked my habit of breaking overlong messages into separate posts.

I was pulling for him to be paraded in on a palanquin by bearers in Brendan Carr masks, then delivering his monologue from an effigy of the president as a bearskin rug.

But this was probably the better move.

Handled with remarkable, deft class, and channelling this rare extra attention toward all manner of issues beyond himself. Kimmel has such a talent for stepping above his shtick at key moments.

I’m reading through the quotes and the number of versions of “CouchGPT” have me nodding “yeah, I see why he disables comments.” (Just to stay sane in notifications, not because it’s a bad joke.)

It’s the Stargate/Dukes of Hazzard reboot we desperately didn’t want.

This whole website right now:

Thoughts and prayers (derogatory)

Make a band a food:

Sushi and the Banshees

Also; “Godspeed You! Snack Emperor”

Make a band a food:

…And you will know us by the trail of bread.

…and the perfectly poached solo offshoot: Jammy eggs eggs.

Make a band a food:

The eggs eggs.

Trump’s solution to the Ukraine war is for the USA to surrender? Truly his Nobel Peace Prize is in the bag.

Slightly diminish a band: Nick Cave and the Just Absolute Dogshit Seeds

Slightly diminish a band: A Winged Stalemate for the Sullen.