I actually got a cold now my posts predict the future.

Fuck Drake.

Fuck Drake.

that shit got real serious

Type shit

a google form entitled "bluesky verification complaint form" the first question is "who is the user in question" the second question is "what's the complaint"; the two options are "they're verified" and "they're not verified"

please file your complaints in an orderly fashion

The residents do tend to be evil at my school.

My headlight hurt my eyes, I ate my right blinker in retaliation.

Broke into a gas station and got called a ruffian.

I’m sorry

Breaking: Joe Rogan deported to El Salvador.

I got a cold and the sun sneezed. My house is on fire now.

I agree completely with you ajynwa

This is not misinformation Jerry if it is then prepare to see me in court.

Bought a hash brown from a McDonald’s in the field far away from the cottage on the right, is this a good meal or what?

darn

Imagine a white 12 year old skinny kid front row at a dave blunts concert and dave blunts dives into the crowd and the kid goes “WHAT THE FUCK”

Just found out the moon isn’t government-owned. About to Airbnb it.

My shadow started following someone else.

The floor just laughed at my decisions.

The chair judged my posture.

The air tastes like static.

A pigeon just gave me a look.

My reflection borrowed my shoes.

The moon blinked twice. I’m scared.

I sneezed and forgot who I was for 5 seconds.

The floor is plotting against me.

The grass whispered my name. I’m not going back outside.

The couch tried to eat my phone.

I saw time flicker. It didn’t go well.