ANCIENT GREEK PRO WRESTLING PROMOTER: ok so you're going to be what's known as a "heel"
ACHILLES: fuck you

DANSBY DING DONG

@roydrage12.bsky.social ur cute. And the beers are good 2nite.

no war but infowars

In a scene from the Star Trek episode "I, Mudd," Dr. McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura are standing around stomping and clapping while a crazed looking "Weird Al" Yankovic jumps into the air with his legs and arms outstretched.

Day 20 of inserting "Weird Al" Yankovic into a Star Trek screenshot

#WeirdTrek #StarTrek #StarTrekTOS #WeirdAlYankovic

Story Hurter

Me when I can’t think of the word “antagonist”

i remain convinced that the only job that AI can adequately replace is that of large company CEOs

Having respect for JK Rowling is immediately disqualifying for regular people. For the new chair of an organization like this? Even worse

Wanted to show you this post in English because it’s so good and we truly are a global village

Two panel meme with frames from Star Trek: The Next Generation. In the first panel, Jean-Luc Picard appears to be playing the Ressikan flute that he acquired in "The Inner Light", but in the second panel he is leaning back with his eyes closed and releasing a dank vape cloud, revealing himself to be Picard's stoner second cousin Gene-Luke Vapehard.

Gene-Luke Vapehard, logging on

I assume the Seattle Times and others who were wringing their hands about how doomed we were when Washington refused to give similar handouts will be lining up to offer public apologies any day now

Screenshot of post by Jason Read (@unemployedneg) that reads I don't want to kink shame but I think that this publicity still of Spielberg and ET is about 80% more sexy than it really needs to be. (Sexy picture of Steve and ET)

real sexy just like you wanted boss

Star Trek The Original Series scene. We're in a CORRIDOR! A room door is open, and we see two crewmen spilling out into the hallway in red and blue uniforms. They are otherwise indecipherable tho because they are entirely enveloped in a big cloud of smoke. It's pouring out all around them and into the hallway area, like there's a Phish concert in there. Closed caption reads, "[COUGHING]"

going on 36 hours awake because every airplane seat was designed for tiny little mice. little cartoon mice curled up on a bag of peanuts and using their boarding pass as a blankie. all dragging a big steamer trunk behind them and shouting “oh boy!” when the plane takes off. unfortunately I am 6’3”

Dudes rock

NPR committed quite a few words to Xavier's principal and CR Prep's former/arrested principal to spin why they love siphoning public funds for private, unregulated schools.

Xavier's tuition, like every other private school in Iowa, has increased annually with the ESA increase. It's a grift.

When Kasubienski’s son started watching Fuentes in 2017, he remembers feeling like the streamer was a kindred spirit.
Living in Ohio on full-time disability, Ryan, now 36, spent so many hours at home immersed in the streamer’s show that he said he began thinking of Fuentes as a little brother. Where Ryan felt nervous, Fuentes seemed self-assured, and over time he began to believe the streamer was one of the only people being honest about the changes in the United States that everyone pretended they didn’t see.

Two things Nazis love, historically: 1. Poles 2. People with disabilities

you: please act normal Ed you need these people to like you

people: hello Ed nice to meet you

me: the British discoverer of aluminum called it “aluminum” like Americans do now and a couple of editors decided “aluminium” would be better because it matches the cadence of sodium and calcium

Does this person not realize what the "E" in "ESPN" stands for?

Every AI commercial is like "Hey AI, what goes good on a sandwich?" and then the AI is like "Have you considered... cheese?" And then the narrator is like: THE FUTURE IS HERE.

lmao Americans are unemployable because we need health insurance. reality is unreal.

I love Threads

OK since Christian Bluesky is talking about funeral hymns here is the funniest thing that happened around my father’s funeral:

Bars in Washington, DC had been struggling since Covid. So why are the city’s Democrats so eager to get rid of Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, and Jeanine Pirro?

Repeat after me:

I am not sassier than Hillary Clinton.
I am not sassier than Al Pacino.
I am not sassier than Gerard Way.
I am not sassier than Sabrina Carpenter.

But if I stand back and watch and learn,
I will be sassier than I am.

𝙰𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝚂𝚈𝙲𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙸𝚂

@mets.com I’m out of fingers to count consecutive losses what do you advise

Mets and Mess are one letter different for a reason