Angine de Poitrine - Full Performance (Live on KEXP) YouTube video by KEXP

We're finally getting a good new thing:

youtu.be/0Ssi-9wS1so?...

Elmo @elmo · 1h That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰 Based Yankee @thebasedyankee You and Bad Bunny should be deported

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

This needs to be a movie Adam Sandler follows Gov LePage around making sure he doesn't sign the bill that he doesn't want to sign either.

We shouldn't call them Boomers. We should call them the Zodiac Generation because one of those mofos is the Zodiac Killer.

mike johnson is like

Thanks, New Yorker

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say charlie kirk died from a grand piano falling on his head and his mouth turned into piano keys and then a flower pot fell on his dick and it honked like a bike horn. don’t say stuff like that

Charlie Kirk spent his life‘s work and all of his energy and time targeting out-groups while arguing for a world in which gun massacres would be easy to enact, plentiful, and inevitable, and he became famous and wealthy doing it, and we’re now not supposed to mention that because it’s not polite.

File:Muybridge Buffalo galloping.gif - Wikimedia Commons

It's only 4am but I've already accomplished today's goal of seeing a buffalo dick on wikipedia

File:Muybridge Buffalo galloping.gif - Wikimedia Commons share.google/vBmuwKc94V3b...

The last six months have felt like the montage in a Gremlins movie where the Gremlins are just going ham, breaking shit and being disgusting

Oh yeah, I was supposed to also say happy father's day and shit. I don't have any kids but my sister gave me a card that she says is from my cat.

Note to all the dads and granddads out there: You can sing Laura Branigan's Gloria, Gloria whenever you hear Benson Boone sing Mystical Magical.

#2110 in the fantasy baseball rankings but #1 in my heart

48% Rostered means 48% of baseball fans have hearts in their dadgum chests:

😢

Can you believe this shit. Okay, Mister Strong Hands.

Amazon might not be posting the tariff price increases, but they sure can't resist posting products making fun of my hand strength:

My love language is following a trail of spaghettios up the stairs to my bedroom.

two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one that had a faded sign by the side of the road saying it's 15 minutes to the love shack

Ominous bulges...

Any other white guys with acoustic guitars mashing up Fast Car and Yall Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack or am I like 10 years late to this party?

Got a phone call from my area code and I've never been so horrified.

whatever happens it is important to remember the one fundamental thing we all have in common-- every person, at one point or another, has bought weed off a guy named "Spider"

I can't tell you how long I've dreamed about possibly dying of a treatable illness while returning outstanding value to my employer's shareholders

Super stoked for the ides of March this year for some reason idk 👉👈

Looking forward to seeing Ringo picking up the guitar and playing the guitar on a bunch of Beatles songs. Because Ringo played guitar for the Beatles per my inside source MSN:

Just bought a mini washer from Amazon and this is what the box says:

GIVE ME THE NITROUS

Social Security is self funded and is not an entitlement.

It's been a busy week for my local police force: