Even Satan takes a nap in the afternoon.

Very gothic steps total today.

one for sorrow
two for joy
three for a girl
four for a boy
five for silver
six for actually that's a lot of magpies
seven for oh no they are massing
eight for oh my god they're going to attack
nine for run, run away now
ten for magpies Magpies MAGPIES

British Airways are getting very snooty about what we're reading.

Sometimes you can see what Turner saw.

Dear Hotels throughout the world - please stop tucking in the duvets.

‘BIB’ is a bit tame…

Coming 12th August (or 12th of Augsburg as predictive texting suggested)

Playing scrabble on an old app - it says covid isn’t a word…

Thank you very much!

Research question for project set in 1997 - does anyone know when quiet carriages were introduced?

Hottest day of the year, but the grandchildren have insisted on watching Muppet Christmas Carol…

Birdwatchers - Just seen a flock of seagulls (not the band) seemingly caught in a thermal above Dartmoor - is this a thing? I'd say there were around 100 of them.

If I was in charge of such things, I would put a compilation of the national juries giving their points on Eurovision in any attempted communication with other galaxies. Just to give them a heads up. Then they can decide.

Alien Earth is coming later this summer. I'm the one on the right.

The more television I watch, the more I feel I am turning into Giles from Gogglebox. (Or maybe it’s the other way round).

That's the first I've heard of a Buster Keaton film from 1965. So the short answer is - no.

Easter Sunday always reminds me of the gift shop at a cathedral near Palermo, when the woman in front of me said: 'Oh, and a man on a stick, please.'

I always thought that if nuclear armageddon came a spaceman would land on earth many centuries later to find the snooker was still on the telly.

And the bloke with the upside down specs?

It always feels like the 70s when the snooker’s on the telly.

You have to diversify these days.

Planted lots of my veg seedlings out earlier this week, when it was warm and sunny, but now the long range forecast is saying we’ll get frosts again. Puts the prospects of world recession into perspective. I know just how China feels.

They generally can’t even drum, it’s just bum pa-dum, bum pa-dum, bum pa-dum for the full 90 minutes. Stockport (who were in our away end yesterday) seem to have a particularly fine repertoire of songs, but they were mostly drowned out by their dull drummer.

I know there’s a lot going on, and it’s all a bit worrying, but the most important thing as far as I see it is this: we should ban drums at football matches. There, I’ve said it. Pile on if you must, but you know I’m right.

Very kind, thank you.

Sorting out my CDs. It's safe to assume I'm a Mott the Hoople fan.

Thinking about how Bono (the Mercedes engineer) used to say 'It's Hammer Time' to Hamilton. Will he now say 'It's Aunty Time' to Antonelli?

Chris is brilliant. The best.

BBC Radio 4 - Drama on 4, Waiting for Waiting for Godot A play by Adrian Edmondson. 17 March 2020, and theatres are closing their doors.

I've written a play about 4 actors from a production of Waiting For Godot, who are waiting for the producer to appear, on the day the theatres closed 5 years ago. On tomorrow at 2.15, then afterwards on BBC Sounds. No pressure...