"All you thought was supposed to exist, I only suppose to exist...

and may not, one day soon."

- Alan Watts

"And you... who never thought to question if this was how things were supposed to be... I convict your conviction. History is contingency and things could always have been otherwise... and still might. And 'still might' will end in time all you held so perpetual...

You know what? I'm just gonna go offline for awhile. Reach me on other platforms, just not here. Maybe things will have improved in a year. Or maybe not. I'll just have to find out then.

I really want you to be right. Just right now, I don't see it.

Tell that to the people constantly looking back for me. I can't move forward while they're out there trying to keep me away.

If I've impacted your life in a positive way, and that still means something to you, please let me know. My DMs are open, and I need to hear your voices again. Give me a reason stick around.

How can I do that when everyone only sees bad? That's where I'm stuck. I keep trying to just exist peacefully, interacting with people on the most basic levels, and people seem to think I don't deserve to do even that.

I wish I could know that for certain. Because as limited as the negative voices are, there's also a lot of them... and they're loud. I need people to speak up, to let me know I mean a lot to you so that you guys can drown them out.

"It's not hard to be a good person."

Yes it is, because the second you stop being one, even for a moment, everyone stops seeing you as one forever.

I'm trying man. But every time I try to get my footing again, I'm knocked back down by people who wish me gone.

I just want to exist...

If I have personally wronged you through my actions both now and in the past, directly or indirectly, I want you to know that I love you, and I'm sorry. None of you deserved that from me, and I know I can never take that back or repair the damage caused. You deserve so much better, and I failed you.

I don't know what to do anymore. Everywhere I turn, my past is right there ready to show itself to those around me and cause them to act out. VRChat was my second life, but...

I fear there's nowhere left for me to go, nowhere that I can just be myself and make people happy.

I just... I'm sorry. 💔

He was a good base for the last three years, but it's time for a new way forward! Farewell Tosca Rex Farin, and hello Waggan Farin! <3

Being able to create things for people to enjoy is something that gives my life meaning, whether it's making DJ sets or hosting music and game events, or even just giving someone some fresh avatar textures. It's hard but meaningful work, and I'd give anything to be able to do it again.

One day...

I know it's too soon to be thinking about this, but...

I really wanna DJ again.

"I'm still me, just... different. And that's okay, I think."
- Anonymous

How I've been feeling lately...

It's 2026 now, and for the sake of growth, I'm gonna keep my eyes forward.

The goals:
1. Start DJing again
2. Live more in the moment
3. Forgive myself for old mistakes
4. Rediscover pure joy
5. Share it all with the world

It's the year of self-improvement, and I've got 365 days to get shit done.

2026 will be the year of self-improvement for me. I need to treat it as a fresh start and relearn how to be the best version of myself no matter how difficult things are. And maybe I'll find happiness again during that time too.

If you're still here, thank you. It means more than you can ever know.

Quote this with what you have accomplished in 2025 no matter how small.

- didn't die
- traveled to Europe for the first time
- DJ'd at Nordic Fuzzcon for my first ever IRL stage performance
- DJ'd at FWA at the Georgia Aquarium
- started therapy (unrelated to the above)
- am somehow still alive

Today is a magical day! :D

I just got to Season 2. It's my first time actually watching the show the whole way through. Very good watch, would recommend!

We only get this one life. Make sure it's worth it! I love you all, and please be safe! <3

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I wish you all the very best when it comes to spending the holidays with the ones you love the most, whether they're your real family, found family, or a combination of the two. Cherish each moment you spend with them, and don't let trivial matters define your time.

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for all the wonderful people I get to share this life with. From my real family to those I've met through VR, as well as those that provided me the opportunity to share music through DJing, I feel blessed with this life, and it wouldn't have been possible without you.

You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?

Yeah, I'll be fine. c:

Looking back at my old posts, I was actually posting very little of my own stuff. Instead it was mostly reposting stuff from friends and VR clubs I wanted to show support for, plus the occasional shitpost to mix it up.

I miss those times, those friends. Maybe I'll see it again, but I don't know. 💔