Guess who forgot about this platform oops

You’re green with it

A girl cat loves her acrylic plush blankie

“Less honkin’, more tonkin’”

I hate hearing twenty somethings say they’re old. Shut up and go get a kid’s menu, ya big baby.

I’m not sorry: you aren’t old if you’re under thirty. Or under forty. Fuck, you’re not old ever. I don’t make the damn rules. Old is a goddamn state of mind.

Hello giant fucking bumblebee in my closet, uhhhh, nice to meet you?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I got a hankerin’ for some French onion SOUP

SENIORS! Mustn’t forget to claim the BIG SLAB OF SALMON! You are ENTITLED.

Junk removal is way more expensive than I ever would have imagined but these fellas brought me an iced coffee!

And sometimes the only salve for the soul is many, many olives and a cleaned out fridge. 🤷🏻

HELL YEAH

Frog boys frog boys one is dressed as a duck it’s the FROG BOYS OF THE DESK

Ain’t nothin’ hit the nostrils more pleasantly than cool New England rain in very early spring. That shit’s the good smellin’ shit I tell you what.

lest I forget bubberduck

G U R T I S

Why isn’t the answer to every vampire trivia question “Mr. Vampire Man”, “Blood”, or “Bounce on it crrrrrrazy style”?

Turns out I’m NOT as skilled at vampire trivia as I thought I might be.

Shake that ham tonight, I don’t want to let you go till those seagulls fight 🎶🎶🎶🎶

I want to like this more than once hahaha

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

And we mustn’t forget the Lengthy Johnny!

Johnathan, at his longest

Elongated Johnathans

Pop culture Jeopardy got one hell of a hold on my ass, I tell you WHAT.

Sometimes Yuki shoves her face into her tail when she’s napping and you know what? That’s the goods right there.

I can feel the valentines noose beginning to tighten.

I love that album!

Truth