Our next stop was a neighbourhood known as Little Italy.
#PoliceSquad

- I sent the note to the lab. They're demanding a million dollars.
- Why would the lab demand a million dollars?
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Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln
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Police Station
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Police investigation involves meticulous attention to detail. The sound of a buoy or foghorn on the ransom tape led me to the lakefront, where interviews with severaI locals proved unsuccessfuI.
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- Thanks, Johnny. It seems I've got a 3.15 appointment
- 3 o'clock
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- We can't let these vermin infest our city. We'll have a rotten, scum-sucking cesspool...
- Frank, please, I'm trying to eat this tuna fish sandwich!
- A rat-infested, worm-ridden festering boil...
- Frank, cut it out, will you? I'm talking to my mother.
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Nobody owns Buddy Briggs!
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- He threw himself on a grenade to save the battalion
- He was killed by left wing insurgents from Paraguay. No, Bolivia
- He was traded to the Cubs for Reggie Jackson!
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- And what about my daughter? What am I gonna tell her?
- Yeah, you're going to have to tell her something. Tell her he went on a long trip.
- No wait a minute. How about a big monster came and took him to Daddy Heaven?
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- Where is she? Where is she?
- Gesundheit
#PoliceSquad

Tonight's Episode - The Guilty Alibi
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Act II
Gesundheit
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- What happened to your face?
- I ran into a fire sprinkler
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Tell that bomber to take off!
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- Something I can do for you?
- Ox smith?
- No, no, no, no, locksmith! Locksmith!
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It turned out to be one of those all-night wicker places
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Pot Roast
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- I lied. He never took me to the movies. -
Whaaat?
- I LIED. HE NEVER TOOK ME TO THE MOVIES
#PoliceSquad #alibi

- Lieutenant Drebin, what do I do?
- Well, as I understand it, you're in the textile business
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- Is there a ransom note?
- Yes, the butler found it. It was tied to this window and thrown into the rock garden
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You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan
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I just flew in from out of town and a guy in the airport came up to me and says, Give me $5 till payday, and I said, Well, when's payday? And he said, How do I know? You got the job!
#PoliceSquad #entertainer

- Then explain this to me
- Well, you take this little cardboard stick out with sulphur on the end and you rub it on the edges and it makes fire
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Complete destruction. Right up to the point where she asked Katherine Hepburn what kind of tree she'd like to be.
#PoliceSquad #TheLab

We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
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- Is this some kind of bust?
- Yes, it's very impressive, but we'd just like to ask a few questions
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Act II
Gesundheit
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When I arrived at the morgue, my boss had already begun to investigate the physicaI evidence. As was our custom in such cases, we began to talk.
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You think you're gonna arrest me, don't you Well, you're not! 'Cause I got the gun now!
#PoliceSquad