An elephant girl inviting you to the gym, but not as a date. Her asscrack is in dire need of a sweat sponge, but you're so absorbent that she can just keep you back there and wring you out every thirty minutes or so.

Thirty pachyderms passing you around the bar, first as a balled-up cat to punch in the face, then as a fleshlight, then as a sweatrag.

Turning you into a port-a-potty, and teleporting you to a construction site. Eight hippos and an elephant later, I feel like you learned your lesson, and teleport you to the carnival food court where you belong. The lesson was that I don't like you.

A merciful hippo girl giving you the opportunity to eat her ass instead of just stomping you into oblivion for looking at her. You end up as her panties and she never talks to you again.

Is furry malpractice when they don't fuck you, or just when they do anything useful in addition to the fucking?

Fifteen thousand years as a dragon's ass is more than enough penalty for failing in your quest, but your mental whines are pleasing to your new god. Every three weeks, he sits in the Fountain of Mental Clarity. You would be able to smell a rosebush from six miles away, were circumstances different.

Cramming you into an airtight safe, and having my feral cow blast the opening with a fart strong enough to make a dungbeetle's eyes water. Closing it, and drawing a biohazard symbol next to the lock.

Instructions unclear, am now a bubbling chocolate stain

A dragon churning an entire group of slayers into a massive fart, then finding an ornate vase to seal them in. A tiny burst of firebreath welds the lid shut, and they're added to his hoard.

Burying an immortal foxgirl up to her neck, and coming back a century later. A farm has been established, and whatever she did to beg for release landed her underneath a decades-long manure pile.

Licking the cheek of a horse's ass because you lost a bet, but there's a nearby wall to pin you against, and that horse is happy to help you with your aim.

I'm gonna let you two idiots choose who gets tied to an anchor and who gets churned into the fart that's gonna fill his diving helmet.

Inflating you into a bouncy castle, but then letting in fifteen skunks and zipping it shut.

having a "threesome" with your partner and a friend but it's really just your friend railing your partner with you stuffed up your friends sweaty musky ass

Contrary to popular belief, dragon silent-but-deadly farts aren't actually deadly, just like other SBDs. They just happen to both separate the soul from the body *and* dissolve unvesseled souls, whereas most gas only does either one of those.

Digging a 15 foot hole straight down, dropping you in, then dropping an elephant on you, ass-first. It doesn't make contact, as the hole is thin enough to suspend the poor creature, but I'm gonna cram him down with a broom until your oubliette has a 5-foot-high, gray ceiling.

Running a kissing booth, but forgetting to put a clause that says it's just for fun. A dragon wanders in, and pays the $2. As you lean in, he turns around and replaces his snout with an ass bigger than a car.

Love me some horse "steam" amiright yall

I'm gonna put you through neurofeedback until the lightest scent of horse manure makes you forget you were ever an entity.

Don't worry about the implications of that on your daily life, because you're gonna live in my barn now.

6 years as a gas-station toilet really starts to put things into perspective. Some seasons see you get used almost nonstop, while sometimes you'll go a week without seeing anyone other than the rats that scurry across you at night.

I was gonna wish for the genie's freedom, but my first two wishes were twisted into my roommate turning into my new centaur rump. So, instead, I horsefarted into the lamp and wished for it to have a 6,000 year hang time.

Can it cum? If yes then let's workshop this.

I don't know why, but "Willhelm Preston," as a name, is just TRANSCENDENTALLY bullshit.

Metaphorically, for once.

Burning you into ash, leaving you in a litterbox for a month and a half, then turning you back.

Once you get your bearings, I quiz you on the diets of my five kitties. Nutrition, schedule, that kind of thing.

If you get 60 questions right, I let you go. Otherwise, fwoosh; better luck next month.

AMA where you let someone else on your account and answer all the questions as you. And also everything they say retroactively becomes true. Good luck! :3

Teehee~

A miscalculated oven-bomb is gonna be the least of your concerns, I'll say that much

Greetings, fellow portmanteau abuser. You have appeased the Pillsbury Doughboy, but he's one of the many creatures that you *don't* want to charm

Chewing you into gum and then spitting you into a urinal.

Eating ass for an hour and a half before opening your eyes and realizing you've been shrinking.