Standby Jury Duty is not turning out to be as fast-paced and thrilling as the name might lead you to believe.

With the Hyde Park estate?

Bob Villain? Is that anything?

Arguably his most effective advertising for Twitter to date.

Also, “less hanging out at the mall”? That’s still a relevant “problem” in Vivek’s world?

“The degeneracy in our society is perhaps nowhere more evident than in its reverence -no, WORSHIP of Robert “Robbie” Sinclair, Earl and Fran’s layabout teenage son in Dinosaurs or in its exaltation of Cody from Step-by-Step, who inspired untold legions to live in vans in their uncles’ driveway.”

I’m only referring to West Virginia as Woke Virginia from now on.

Not sure hearing about Balatro immediately before a week where I have to close out a bunch of projects for the year was the BEST for my productivity.

“Industry experts are baffled at the failure of both the Man Mountain Marko and Will o’ the Wisp origin stories. What does this mean for the future of media?”

“Teeth are like Aesop’s fable of the Mighty Oak and the PETG with 15% gyroid infill.”

Going to the Vatican. Anyone need me to pick up something while I’m there?

The answer is “by doing the same thing that allowed Gorsuch to be approved with only 54 votes, Kavanaugh to be approved with 50 votes and Barrett to be approved with 52, - eliminating the filibuster for Supreme Court Nominees”.

“Martial Law in South Korea - Experts Explain How This is Also Trans People’s Fault Somehow”

Ok now I’m pretty sure Joey Porter Jr. is just collecting penalties like they’re Pokémon.

Reboot the Sonic universe but this time he’s Dukakis.

So wait WAS it the braids?

“What is this?”

“Oh that? That’s uh
…
…
other types of meat.”

OK! Ok. ok.

OK!

#steelers

Being audited at work turns out to be really, really stressful even if you've spent the past few years making sure that an audit would be easy.

A still from 1995 comedy anthology film Four Rooms in which Chester Rush (Quentin Tarantino) is speaking to Ted the Bellhop (Tim Roth).

We have uncovered rare footage of a conversation between Jordan Peterson and Elon Musk.

You don’t, but it does make it easier to ensure that the legislature votes the way he wants them to. I’m not sure Vance threatening to endorse a primary opponent carries the same weight among the cult.

Maybe, but in the same way “generic candidate” polls better than actual candidates, campaigning with Specifically A Cheney comes with baggage that isn’t identical to “well known conservatives”.

In the end, it failed to drive crossover.

I get that I live near an NFC North city but getting Jags/Lions rather than Steelers/Ravens is untenable.

She lies and says there’s a tub it’s in

Can’t find the butter, man

I see the label says “margarine”

Can’t find the butter, man

Oh no, doing Thanksgiving early is not less stressful. Oh no.

*thinking I’ve finally found a social media site where I can unleash my legions of trained, unstoppable geckos*

Oh, an ECHO chamber.

Oh.

What? No. I haven’t made a huge mistake by underestimating how much soap is needed to wash off the spicy bird seed squirrel deterrent.

*screaming and squinting furiously*

Why do you ask?

I'm going to need the version of Oppenheimer where he spends all of his time demanding that Edward Teller and Hans Bethe make the bomb "bulletproof".

Starting to think I’m just not going to end up in a life or death situation where the outcome hinges on being able to recall lyrics and trivia about late 90s/early 00s ska bands.

“A bit” seems wildly optimistic.