yeah man: it’s the kiddie diddler party and you’re a kiddie diddler; I think we all got that one figured out without the need for any of the supplemental works here

Who should Saints pick in 2026? Google AI says take Kelvin Banks again 49ers GM John Lynch warns teams not using AI to scout that 'you're already behind.' Google Gemini says the Saints should draft Kelvin Banks Jr. again.

49ers GM John Lynch warns teams not using AI to scout that 'you're already behind.' So we asked Google Gemini for guidance, which told us the Saints should simply draft Kelvin Banks Jr. for a second time.
saintswire.usatoday.com/story/sports...

The 12-Year-Old Superpower - Truthdig We’re going to win the war because we’re special, we know karate and also our dad works for NASA.

Everything about our Iran War being conducted by a party that can only lie, complain and punish feels like an overly elaborate exploration of @veryimportant.lawyer's theory that Everyone Is 12 Now.

If I clear security more than 15 minutes before my flight starts boarding, I like to reward myself by having a $16 beer at 9:30 AM. And if it's more than 30 minutes before my flight starts boarding, I'll take them up on their offer to "make it 54 oz and serve it out of a paint can for just $4 more."

“It’s the army/
We got power in numbers:/
And that’s nines, forty-fives, three-five-sevens, and M five hundreds.”

Mmm, Goomba served two ways

I bring a sort of Forbidden Vibe to InternalServerError that Rate Limit Exceeded don't really like

trying to post through it rn

Friendly Fyre Festival

You can’t spell “InternalServerError” without AI.

bluesky: we are pivoting to AI

[site catches on fire]

bluesky: this was not the fault of AI

Ol’ Paddy reveals the “pentastack” washed uncs use every day.

- Finasteride
- Magnesium Citrate
- Prilosec
- Celebrex
- Flexeril

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

How come nobody has RSVP’d for my TemuBQ yet?

oh dope, hilarious new way to die just dropped

my man was cookin with this one

Was watching this game and saying “jealousy professor” every time there was a stoppage of play on his end until my wife asked me what the fuck I was doing.

Brain status: entirely normal 👍🏻

/extremely it's last call voice: You know, I bet if I give him a chance, Tom Steyer could be the next J.B. Pritzker!

Jim Caviezel IS Jair Bolsonaro

I need to see this.

This one’s for LeBron.

The only innovating we still do in this country is in the field of Undignified Ways To Die

Dee Reynolds from It's Always Sunny singing the end of the Nightman Cometh. She sings "just to be clear i did not write that song and have never had sex with a child"

why did Melania say this at her press conference?

God, I was just thinking about how they better be using American-made steel to build the illegal ballroom that sucks

man what the fuck is going on over there today? It’s a Thursday in April, chill the fuck out, find a shitty baseball game to half-pay attention to.

i thlammed my penith in the car door YouTube video by ☆mibble☆

Obligatory:

So they started a war to distract from the pedophilia, but then the war immediately went to shit, so now they‘ve got to pivot back to the pedophilia to distract from the war, do I have that right? These people are the Sisyphus of slamming their penises in car doors.

1984 calendar meme with the lady saying "the empire is at war with Persia and the Pope" and the calendar says January 1054

Ah well. Nevertheless,

Imagine devoting your life's work to perfecting the seatbelt and then the first time there's a serious accident every occupant of the car goes flying right through the windshield. This post is about the founding fathers.

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine