OUR NEW TESLA CAN FART WHAT THE FUCK AND ITS A WET ONE TOO

I’m at a bar with my 26 year old niece and it’s kinda lit not gonna lie

DONT. They give me a terrible headache. It’s not worth it for a 10% looser hole.

It’s my birthday send me your nudes!

I’m happy to report that being a small business owner has completely consumed me. It’s so much fun, yet stressful, yet rewarding. Beast mode is activated

Gay Halloween cruise this year???? Hmm.

Ive practiced and picked out a few pieces to play on my violin after not picking it up in like 3 years. I’m on day 3 and i can feel a different part of my brain working again. How I’ve missed it.

There’s a Filipino superstition that an expecting mother’s pregnancy craving translates into traits her child will have later in life. For example, my mom’s pregnancy craving with me were Vienna sausages and now I’m gay

Yes! You didn’t know! lol!

Are you in Houston? I’m a real deal massage therapist.

My greatest ideas always come to me at 2am. Why is that.

“I have no involvement in my fiancés death, he was 91”

Btw it came out pretty good. Solid 8/10

Attempting kaldereta today. Will update in 4-5 hours.

Bears here are also massively unfriendly. Only if you look like them will they give you the time of day.

I can see why other ppl in my industry would rather work than do their own shit. It’s a lot of work, a lot of emotion, a bit of struggle. But the fear of clocking in for someone else keeps me driving, working, and striving for more.

I’ve been taking this new multivitamin that turns my pee highlighter yellow. When i pee i feel like I’m shooting a laser beam out of my dick.

I follow one podiatrist on IG and all of the sudden the algorithm thinks i have a foot fetish. Spoiler alert. I do.

My 20 year high school reunion was tonight. I didn’t go, and had no intention to. The pics came out and i don’t recognize anyone, and not in a good way.

In honor of Lady Gaga’s song, show me your best pic where you have ‘Summerboy’ 🌞

Yea so safe to say, after July 4th i will be going California sober.

I’m wet as fuck

The last five days challenged me so fucking much like what the fuck but i made it through cuz im that bitch.

This edible is HITTING and I’m in the middle of this terminal holy shitttttt

Same! It’s like i want to contribute but sometimes it’s fun watching the feed

I forgot how much i love mangos. Holy shit.

I’m officially “went to the store to pick out a new pill organizer” old.

I suppose one of my triggering statements i hear as a therapist after i tell them my rates:

“That’s not bad.”

Me: “FuCk, MaYbE i ShOuLd of SaiD MORE”

I just made lumpia for the first time. Happy AAPI month mothafuckas.