REVEREND: And now, the couple has elected to write their own vows. We’ll start with the groom

GROOM: [clears throat] WHAZAAHHHHHH,

right, it feels notable to me that a lot of big tech after about 2020 decided to ditch the old “and here’s why this innovation will be good for you and the world” sales pitch in favor of “open, vicious threats.”

solid time at the Boston Marathon finish line this year; definite highlight was playing Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop" for Bill and Hillary, who turned up to see Chelsea finish the race

reading that the new apple guy was in hardware and withholding judgment until i can work out exactly how responsible he was for the butterfly keyboard and touch bar

Gudtrip The first agentic cannabis device Not just a vape. A connected earning device. Gudtrip combines premium cannabis, blockchain rewards, and AI-powered asset tools in one product

Happy 4/20 everyone

I am sorry to inform you that this appears to be real

Naming my security company after the giant evil eye that, crucially, was too distracted to see the actual threat sneaking in

palantir should be viewed as the enemy of modern society

at last: someone has picked up the mantle of 'being U2'

the fact those someones are the Strokes and the Dropkicks is very surprising to this 20th century individual but i'm glad someone's on it

Coachella is trying to wipe all of the footage of The Strokes protest set so I’m gonna post it here. The last images on the screen made me cry.

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?

"There's only one majority in this country and that's the working class." —Zohran Mamdani

I do not want to create an account or open a subscription I just want to buy a thing and never hear from you again why is this so hard.

GIBBY HAYNES We used to go into the Banshees’ dressing room and take the Gouda off their deli tray so that we could say we stole Siouxsie and the band’s cheese. It’s a pun—the highest form of humor.

The Butthole Surfers are culture

To be fair if I were Kash Patel I would also drink an enormous amount

On multiple occasions in the past year, members of a security detail had difficulty waking Patel because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to information supplied to justice department of White House officials. Our request for “breaching equipment” – normally used by SWAT and hostage rescue teams to quickly gain entry into the buildings – was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind, locked doors, according to multiple their request

I’ve been drunk but never “call the breaching team” drunk

Tonight is the night 😎

8 pm ET on ABC

oh weird yet another random celebrity says we need AI

We Need Fewer Influencers and More Bullshit E-mail Jobs We need Directors of Manual Automation Sales Development who roll up their sleeves and type one singular e-mail every day in which they pass off their work to a different department.

this but unironically www.newyorker.com/humor/shouts...

remember when celebrities seemingly randomly started coming out talking about how much they loved NFTs and thought it was super valuable and the future?

bluesky is down and it's going to stay down. bluesky is gone forever. it's gone forever and you're high. you're high and everyone knows it and you're going to be high forever too

ICE agent charged with two felonies for pointing his gun at motorists during Operation Metro Surge Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty said a nationwide warrant has been issued in the first criminal charges against an ICE agent for on-duty actions during the surge.

A nationwide warrant has been issued in the first criminal charges against an ICE agent for on-duty actions during the enforcement surge in Minnesota.

Bruins-Sabres schedule:
Game 1: Sunday, April 19 at 7:30 p.m.
Game 2: Tuesday, April 21 at 7:30 p.m.
Game 3: Thursday, April 23 at 7 p.m.
Game 4: Sunday, April 26 at 2 p.m.
Game 5: Tuesday, April 28 at TBD
Game 6: Friday May 1 at TBD
Game 7: Sunday, May 3 at TBD.

I’m going to have to ask all of you to stop responding to things I said on a podcast recorded months in the past like we are having a conversation in the present

a green screen that says run no_face.exe on it Alt: a green screen that says run no_face.exe on it flashing various error messages

the truly vexing thing about claude code is every movie where someone typed plain english into a computer and it worked has now been retconned as legit

hi i'm a huge asshole but at least i found my people

bluesky is actually paying homage to an ancient internet tradition known as "signing off." it is a lost art, but people would "disconnect" and maybe return to the family computer after finishing dinner and homework

I suspect the Pope sounds "woke" to many Christian conservatives because the US is steeped in prosperity theology, where the point of worship is to deliver health and wealth to believers. Thus, "feed the hungry" and "show mercy for the poor" sounds needlessly political and "woke."

i do not know what a clavicular is and as soon as i mute this word i need never find out