I love fun! I think you’d be right

Dreaming of the day my legs become two deep red velvet curtains. “I like the way my legs sway in the wind,” I will say.

Wait, how come?!

I don’t know why I decided to hook up when it always makes me so nervous. I’m not a fan of meeting a stranger at their home for the purpose of doing naughty things!!

Me: I’m leaving my little bag in my car Them: Ok Them: Is this you Me: If I contract sudden death syndrome tell them my id is in my car Them: Ok

Remembering how normal I was after parking at a hookup’s place last night. I did not get more normal as the night went on.

Yes and it worked! I was as calm as a tranquilized horse afterward

Cute alert

We Sawed a Man in Half to Prove that it's Wrong

Would you let me into your home?

I want some orange guice. Sometimes they call orange guice OG. And to OG? I say, “Yum.”

“Ouch!” I say after taking a bite from the sun. “That was too hot!”

Me in 2023 trying to show a friend what I just did to my hair but getting distracted by my music and feeling self-conscious about it

You are still so cute, no need!

It’s definitely not 3 am here

Same tbh

I’m very aware of my existence so there’s no possibility I’m drunk right now even though I’ve had a lot of tequila

I am not German but I might be autistic

Packet that reads “DO NOT EAT” and “DO NOT MICROWAVE”

Gonna open this and put it in my pot of ramen noodles as extra flavoring

They’re always making me sweat too! It’s like, hey, that’s a bit excessive?

Wow, I’d not seen this one before.

Trying to wake myself up by yelling “Have you heard about Betty? Betty Spaghetty!” over and over

I think you know what you gotta do! Make out with men!

I have been up for over 12 hours yet I do NOT want to go to bed

I am Extremely high and I am going to slowly chew and savor some savant peppercorns now. I have hit the spiraling level of High.

I feel like this would be a good band name

I have the view that indie rock is generally bad because I have been exposed to so much terrible indie rock over the years. But wait, why are some of my favorites considered indie rock??

I mean, I can understand misreading “Disco Sucks” if you weren’t around in disco’s height and were only exposed to disco records that stood the test of time. I imagine hearing terrible disco everywhere you went could be akin to having your ears gently rubbed with cheese graters.

I am NOT searching that again after I saw photos on google 10 years ago or something.

Do you think Al Gore knew the internet would be so popular when he invented it

I haven’t seen a snail or slug in so long and I feel like this is a stain upon my life