I find this joke a lot less funny now that my coworkers are actually getting fired.

Yellow flowers among red buds in a thicket

Some early buds in DC despite the snow

I used to work in a genealogy archive and I just realized Records of Death Metal would have made for a killer cover band name.

Well they’re only a dollar, might as well pick up two

My job is too hard. I need Elon Musk to fire me.

My government issued lanyard broke some time ago, and my confidence has never truly recovered

Opening my work email: and what fresh new hell is this?

Green leaves, red berries, white snow

A bad weekend in DC but the winter foliage is nice.

Nothing prepares you for the absolute rage you feel as an adult opening Outlook to check your work email and realizing Microsoft has changed the format of everything.

Also walking home on a quiet night in the fresh fallen snow 10/10

Maybe I’m just a little tipsy but there’s a certain kind of romance to waiting late at night for a nearly empty train. Like it showed it up just for you.

Deep cleaning my house (in honor of Jimmy) and there’s so much junk and all the junk comes in boxes. My house is a cardboard box factory. I need an exorcism but like for consumerism.

I have holiday induced amnesia. I’ve forgotten how to do my job, write my silly little story. All I know how to do anymore is munch on cookies, drink wine, and bitch about family.

Thoughts I have on my annual 20 hour road trip:
It’s always deer season on the highway.
What if I die while listening to give up the funk. Am I the funk?
How long do I have to drive for it to be a statistical certainty that I’ll be in a car accident?
I should be a long haul truck driver.

It will always be a mystery to me how my dog can’t find the potato chip I dropped on the floor unless I point it out, but can sniff out every chicken bone in a ten block radius when we’re on a walk

Grey skies and a very good, spooky tree

Wow, you zero waste people get here quick

Considering zero waste, not for the environment, but because I’m so tired of taking out the trash

Don’t do it, Manuel. Be free

Hallucinating scenarios for this novel, so I can write them down through great effort, so I can read what I wrote and hallucinate those same scenarios 😐

Writing something really funny and getting a weird sense of deja vu. Did I come up with this or did I read this somewhere? 🧐

Blue Skies and a very good tree

Me when I have a lot of ideas and I’m actually able to write: Do I have a brain tumor?

It’s not maladaptive daydreaming if you write it down.