woke up and looked it up. its "john cena"

i dreamt that john cena's government name was bartholomew crebbins jr

alt: what would you know about getting your new tits to look just right

its his mouth that gets me

a screencap of the daily mail article about the bimboification of kristi noem's husband

oh this image is "funny" to you is it. grow up

a picture of whitaker from The Pitt

the hardest thing to believe about this programme is that this is an american man

i would enjoy The Pitt more if i had the spreadsheet of patients on a second screen, DS style

pretty cool that this is all some kind of joke to you people. because up there in your ivory towers you will never grasp just how unlikely it was for a former foster child to achieve her dream of getting into stanford. let alone performing all of "i don't want to miss a thing" with metallica. 🙄

abc news will publish any take about how reading all the news makes you feel insane except "it's actually not normal or healthy or important to read all the news"

dude i am ON THESE rn. there is maybe no NA beer that tastes as close to its real version

I used to miss Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to, too.

i mean if dave matthews is allowed to do it on earth

swaggy lez aubrey plaza in Happiest Season also really good

loudly saying "its 5 oclock somewhere!" to my empty kitchen as i add a dash of sugarfree cordial to my soluble fibre

did you ever ascend to the point where you understood the plot. im not there yet

on bluesky?!

fuck me up willow nightingale

yeah i know a bunch of people for whom it first came up when their parents raised the issue of them having a big pair of tits

For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"

or i guess every time @lordbeef.bsky.social posts

im reacting to beef every time u post

dont let the data hoarding freaks you kick around with hear you say this

hayley williams should do a song about how its possible to be sad even though you're famous and successful

😏

did she pause like that

abc headline about white nationalists and the "March for Australia" rally

give these people a walkley

thoughts and prayers

hey, nerd. i got a "regular expression" for you: up yours

wiki screengrab re: the show "Cunk on Earth" that says "Created by Charlie Brooker, Written by Charlie Brooker

ohhh ok i just worked out why it sucks

this shit is so bewildering to me. maybe it would hit if we hadn't already had borat and nathan fielder and a dozen other people whove done the exact same bit better over the last 40 years