Well. They do say the s̶e̶c̶o̶n̶d̶ fifth time's the charm. C'mere 🫂

You had your chance, Nathan. You chose Fitzgerald over YOUR OWN FAMILY 😞

Necessity is the mother of invention, after all

I'm naming my son this

do we think the inventors of nail clippers realized that they were enabling countless future acts of fingering or-

why am i like this ???? (awake)

Such is our ✨power✨

my home & all its amenities are at your disposal, weary hopper

Loads of sunlight & heat in Kuala Lumpur, you'll warm right up 🥳

I just googled this and damn, guess I need to move to Iceland

pfft, just a hop over the entirety of the Pacific away. See you in twenty minutes

Sam's face photoshopped on top of the smug Vampire Meme

truly an exalted category to belong to

The fact that I have not met 99.6% of my mutuals irks me. Where art thou, why not aroundeth me

I have no aprons 😭

The possibilities be endless 😂

Was this not enough 😭

😂

🙈👇

Oh that makes sense. I'm so tired of weird profiles lately that I assumed this person just picked random labels without reading them 😂🙈 My bad

I take my title very seriously:

just got added to YET ANOTHER ONE and I almost screamed out loud at the office instead of my usual internal screaming

with an MS Teams nudge :3

That is a good point, I would hang out with them more if I was compensated for it lol

a woman with blonde hair is making a face ALT: a woman with blonde hair is making a face

[grumbling noises]

Someone pointed out that coworkers are the people we spend the most time with so might as well 😪

ughhhh. But I suppose it's good practice for when I have my own associate, I'm getting a department-mate in a few months. Time to learn how to Be Social

COWORKER: you wanna get lunch?

ME: not right now, I had a late breakfast, you go ahead, thanks

COWORKER: [visibly disappointed, leaves]

MY BRAIN: ....you do realise he was asking you to hang out and develop camaraderie

ME: oh

ME:

ME: why tho

Genuinely went to Google to check lmao