Thank u for informing me u took too massive a shit to concentrate on sending a fax. See u next time

Realizing 10 minutes after you've left for the day you didn't put on enough moisturizer. Sigh

The board bought us lunch and they forgot my order, happy national library workers day to meeeeees

Freida McFadden is Lisa Genova's Waluigi

ILS has crashed ten times since I got here at 9, happy national library workers day to meeeeeee

my friend volunteered at the marathon today and chelsea clinton accidentally hit her in the face with a water cup

You should read this author's entire output if you enjoy the sensation of someone telling you a story they think is funny and charming but it's actually fucking horrifying

i wish there was a way to magically become un-drunk. like i just got turnT at dinner and that was fun. but i'm home now and i want to read m book

i know everybody knows this but it really IS just cheaply-smocked milkmaid trad dresses and the ugliest shade of taupe linen~blend~ garbage. everything is $300 and it pills as it de-gases

tried to go clothes shopping. why is everything so uglyyyyyyyyy

Holding hands with a black cat

Holding hands tonight

someone told me today the reason they haven't returned the book they took out in january is because it's currently blocking a space in their baseboard where they keep catching mice

snow in the forecast sunday

Somebody had a brainfart and asked for a 'Momo Joyes' book today, so unfortunately for everyone, that's what I'll be calling her from now on

today is a Barely Breathing Day (I heard Duncan Sheik's 'Barely Breathing' for the first time on a dark, rainy spring morning like this one)

I have spoken with God, and He has abandoned us

And does freida mcfadden...know how bad the wigs are

How many celebrity memoirs with grayscale portrait covers must there be

ewwwww cybertrucks look to be a Seasonal Car around here. I thought they'd just been laughed off the road but nope, seeing them back on the roads the way you would peepaw's '87 Continental.

this to me also says we need to reinvest in Sunday Driving Car culture

I only.know one hampshire college grad and he played pontius pilate in my high school's production of jesus christ superstar

Getting the rude reminder that tax season doesn't end on April 15; it ends on the last day someone yells at me for not having tax extension forms already approved and their refund check in-hand

Dumpster with a NO DOG POOP sign on it

No dump in this dumpster

It's going to hit 80F in the next few days and theheat is still on at work 🥵🥵🥵 go team 'can't be trusted with the hvac'

Hear me out: hostess donettes that have the hard shell that's powdered sugar flavored

or the woman who was writing bad checks from one of their closed bank accounts. they caught her because she was making them out to her husband. the guy who split from his wife and squatted in a vacant building until he got caught by a realtor doing a showing? there are so many

can't think if this is better or worse than the employee who drove their children around in a company vehicle WHILE NOT HAVING A DRIVERS LICENSE, or the guy who stole a company truck and moved to colorado with it. they track its whereabouts by receiving bills for unpaid highway tolls

i think the charges were a lindy west situation where he was traveling, had an unexpected expense, but has no personal credit card to handle it. then he just didn't tell people and expected them not to notice? again, he's still employed there

got to hear tonight about how my husband's coworker rang up thousands of dollars of personal expenses on a company credit card like SIX MONTHS AGO and somehow still has a job?? anyway he finally wrote a reimbursement check today and it bounced.

i could fix him and her

just signed up for a weekend bobbin lace-making workshop on a new hampshire farm