Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. In my defense I forgot the password to this account

This is a judgment free zone. If you need to break into a liquor store and pass out in the bathroom because you’re a raccoon who’s having a hard time, that’s ok. It’s called self care

Imagine getting mad at me online when I’m quite literally beyond beef

Of course, perfectly fine to ruin at your own pace

Ideally by age 30, you should have ruined at least one of your workplaces

Babe are you ok? You've hardly ruined your workplace today

"Can you really call it a 'burger' if it's made from plants?"

You're right… that’s a slippery slope to other things that don’t harm anyone

hahah incredible

my b

The new Beyond Burgers have 75% less saturated fat and are made with avocado oil and how many of you were worried for a second that they fired and replaced me with a normal social media manager, be honest

Hate to brag but Jane Goodall did not personally list me as someone she’d like to launch into space

❤️❤️❤️ also… what is that weird spam account replying. What the heck

Oh my gosh so cute

Not to get too political, but I find it convenient to live on a planet with a habitable climate

Beyond Sausage has 17g of protein and is made with avocado oil and now that my boss has stopped reading, I think we can all agree it's a miracle I'm still employed

very well said

I went to a 4 year university and now every day I wake up and think “What would a little cow post on the internet?”

You can accomplish anything you set your mind to

❤️🫶

Thank goodness we’re going back to the good old times before… *checks notes* medicine

It’s pretty impressive how off it is

ChatGPT could never wear a cape

“AI is gonna replace all funny/unhinged social media managers”

I’d like to see AI replicate the formative experience of being weird and lonely as a child

The pup is taken care of by a small cow

This was a test. I mean… moo

Moo

“The team running the Beyond Meat account posts recklessly, wades into politics, and also never promotes the products.”

That’s not true. It’s just one person running the account

“Be the bigger person.”

Counterpoint: be the smaller cow. Jump to conclusions. Hold a grudge. Take everything personally. Bite the hand that feeds

Easy self care tips:

- drink water
- take screen breaks
- leave the office to go for a walk
- enter a field
- let out a huge moo
- never return

Amazing !

Hang on, see yourself back in