me: playing quiet music on my balcony and worried it’ll bother my neighbors

LAPD helicopter: i kinda wanna hover over your house for 30 mins if that’s cool

pinkpanthress’s pet twink is kind of doing it for me…

Cat in bag.

Morning 😂

talking to my girls: a keke
talking to myself: a meme

kids these days will never know the joy of early facebook games

a watched britta never fills

Gavin Newsom, Kristi Noem Nod Silently To Each Other In Plastic Surgeon’s Office

Gavin Newsom, Kristi Noem Nod Silently To Each Other In Plastic Surgeon’s Office

pike place? more like puke place

get that fiddler away from my roof!!!

neighbor just asked if i work in fashion. wearing today’s outfit to my funeral i guess

god bless this mess!!! (i don’t believe in god)

convinced my boss to buy a different brand of coffee than starbucks for the office coffee pot. be the change you want to see

whoever first said “life’s a bitch and then you die” was a prophet

There is no poetry in your soul, homeboy

it’s so hard to interact with conservatives without talking to them like children

i know you are but what am i??

anyone else notice how nicki’s face instantly looks more botched since she went maga

every morning i wake up and place another curse on greystar

katy perry dating justin trudeau was never on my 2025 bingo card but maybe it should’ve been

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

finished Couple’s Therapy. already becoming snoop deficient 🥲

Martha May….MM….Flip it around

i want a job with ppl my age to be friends with but i don’t want to take a pay cut 💔 i’ll just have to kick it with the middle aged ladies

doja cat has a nonbinary therapist?

if you had a peanut allergy things would be different

PBEPB (pretty boys eat peanut butter)

beverly hills is pretty in the rain

finally figured out how to turn on my heater

i'm going to write the great american novel

it’s insane to me that only two of the top twenty streamed songs are by women