It's been 2 weeks trying to open this jar...
Please help.

The end of Easter is only done when all the eggs are gone.

I've been 3 days trying to open a jar of sauerkraut. It's got a 'safety lid' as if it's filled with dangerous isotopes.

'Danger Sauerkraut'
#Hungry

I support CANZUK.

I hope all the IT folk who had to endure that your day ended on time.

I'd like to follow up with this and say that getting cyber attacked by your external security company is a product of the ass hat hacker.

I would like to propose a new class of hat among the red, white and black hats.

I propose this new hat in the class of security/hacking and IT professionals.

Ass Hat

For the manager who knows less but will never admit it.

Maybe the slogan is, we put the NOS in noses.

Laugh out loud dental, where NOS and nose meet.

For context, this cat has already sent me to the hospital once with its bite,

What do I do, the attack cat has sat on me. This is not a blessing. #SOS

390 valid moves and you pick this? I'd be quickly taking my gloves off. He be making dragons.

Are hashtags still a thing? Do people still call them pound?

#OwMyBack

JellyBean the 6 inch tall unicorn is playing the beautifully painted Newfoundland piano at the St.John's airport. He's wearing a sweater because it's still below 10 degrees here!

Thank you St.John's airport (NFLD) for being so kind and finding our BFF JellyBean!
This unicorn has been on every adventure my Niece ever experienced, today she turned 8!

I just asked, and he laughed. He really is enjoying it. Tells me he even remembers writing it.

We are moving back into our childhood home.

My little brother wrote this. Welcome to the future.