Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

Me doing standup: 1. I don't think it's right to attack anyone for the way they look. but I will make an exception for Elon Musk. 2. Because in every photo I've ever seen of Elon Musk he looks like if you stuck a knife in to him... 3. ...he would just be cake.

Elon Musk.

Online recipe: "Making this classic takeaway dish at home couldn't be easier!"

...

"Step 73: Add the chicken you marinated overnight to the pan along with the hand cut smoked garlic, 19 spice blend and 163.8 ml of Moroccan goats milk..."

Me: "I feel like this could be *slightly* easier"

Really looking forward to JD Vance campaigning for Netanyahu later this year.

Priorities

I actually did get tickets to totp in 1999 😂

Presenting the reopening the Strait of Hormuz as a victory is like the Greeks failing to take Troy but celebrating the safe return of their wooden horse

God, these lovely, peaceful morning hours in Europe before that stupid cunt wakes up.

Holy New York.

UPDATE ON THE HORMUZ COALITION (Mon, March 16):

🇫🇷 France: REJECTED
🇬🇧 UK: REJECTED
🇮🇹 Italy: REJECTED
🇪🇸 Spain: REJECTED
🇯🇵 Japan: REJECTED
🇳🇴 Norway: REJECTED
🇨🇦 Canada: REJECTED
🇦🇺 Australia: REJECTED
🇩🇪 Germany: REJECTED
🇨🇳 China: NO RESPONSE
🇳🇱 Netherlands: NO RESPONSE
🇰🇷 South Korea: NO CONFIRMATION

I've just started laughing in the middle of Toyota, which isnt the hard nosed bargaining look I was hoping for

Every time a dad has a paper bag. It’s the law.

Bet John rocked a mug like the rebel he was

A real Good Samaritan One act of kindness that befell Leeds writer Bernard Hare in 1982 changed him profoundly. Here he tells his story.

i post this story every christmas, and will keep doing so until it stops making me cry

merry christmas xx

I'm losing my mind over how many reviewers are like "GDT's Frankenstein makes you wonder who the real monster is." THAT'S THE STORY! That's the story Shelley wrote!

Just bought it, can't wait to get stuck in!

Genuinely thought this was a step counter and was highly impressed at the laziness of local cats.

Washington, DC under military occupation in last August 2025, with banners proclaiming the absolute power of the primus inter pares

This is a real photograph of Washington, DC this week, where the United States president has ordered military occupation in peacetime, and ordered the display of colossal portraits of himself.

www.wsj.com/politics/pol...

Just for perspective, a few weeks ago roughly 100,000 turned up for the London Trans+ Pride march. By contrast fewer than 3,000 ACROSS THE WHOLE COUNTRY, have turned up to anti-asylum "protests". Yet we are meant to take the latter as "the voice of the people" and the former as "the minority".

So hear me out

Gregg Wallace insta statement: I was hired by the BBC and Master Chef as the cheeky greengrocer. A real person with warmth, character, rough edges and all. For over two decades, that authenticity was part of the brand. Now, in a sanitised world, that same personality is seen as a problem. My neurodiversity, now formally diagnosed as autism, was suspected and discussed by colleagues across countless seasons of Master Chef. Yet nothing was done to investigate my disability or protect me from what I now realise was a dangerous environment for over twenty years. That failure is now being quietly buried.

m8 you kept sexually harassing a woman who was ghost writing your stupid book

I have RAVED about it to all of my friends. And I did cry at the end..

HE WAS GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN!
(He did that, Fiona)

I drive down Vauxhall Road and turn onto Leeds Street on my way home from work. I'll definitely be thinking about Susannah on my next drive.

Exciting times as the @Undisclosedpod bombshell episode drops tomorrow, I'm finalizing the legal argument for Adnan's convictions to be vacated & I'm finalizing the legal argument for vacating the conviction for the defendant in the case we're covering on the podcast this fall!

I was walking down a quiet Matthew Street in Liverpool a few years ago and glanced up to see some VERY familiar cheekbones.
If Cillian Murphy had glanced behind him after he passed me, he'd have seen my full jaw drop 😂

Just a friendly reminder that your desire to pull a book from a bookshelf and find that it reveals a hidden door is valid.

Don’t allow anyone to disrespect you by telling you otherwise.

Opinion | New estimates indicate that Elon Musk's DOGE might not achieve any savings The way Musk has gone about his efficiency initiative has incurred tremendous costs.

WHO could have foreseen such a thing??

www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnb...

I'm 55% into the latest (after starting last night) so you've got aaaaages* before you have to think about the new one

*approximately 10pm tonight