a guy in a pink hoodie and white jockstrap taking a mirror selfie

it’s a cold day so i’m dressing for it :)

A photo taken from a pedestrian bridge of a brown water creek, with dense Australian native vegetation along its banks.

A low angle photo of a rail bridge over the Darebin creek. Two people are about to walk under it, and much of the foreground is covered in overhanging eucalyptus.

A water hole adjacent to the Darebin creek. The water is glassy smooth, and the sky has very light, whispy clouds. The banks are lined with grass, and tall gum trees.

A photo of the Merri creek. The trail curves gently to the right, like the other pictures it is densely wooded with Australian native vegetation, and the sun is dappled throughout.

i do love this city

THE REPLIES ARE CRAZY

yes :3

thank you to the hot bear with the little dog teaching me about tasmania, i am a big fan

buying a scooter has been absolutely fantastic for my vitamin d levels, though cultivating a watch tan in april is an interesting choice

leaf blowers are a noise specifically designed to get right on my tits, you’ve got my number on that one

you've got to be fucking joking

need someone to do that to me

me and who

when apple sends me a “time to stand” alert the second i sit down for a wee, that’s toxic masculinity at play right there

oh i don't understand that at all

and ANOTHER thing, close the damn lid!

sometimes my inner demons love to tell me what an incompetent boob i am, but then those same demons see the emails i read and say “actually, things could be a LOT worse”

i think i’m obligated to now!

a hairy guy in grey sweats taking a mirror selfie, flexing an arm (sort of)

getting back into swimming is exactly what i needed :)

from the makers of bad dragon cum lube, we present

piss lube

this feels ... lynchian

stuck listening to commercial radio and they are talking about Russell Crowe a LOT more than I think is necessary for this point in time in pop culture

your thoughts on Chappell Roan tell me muchhhhhh about you

she should be nastier and have a gun

I don’t hate it, it’s prettier than the pea strainer balls in Brisbane’s King George Square

But out of everything she could have done at Patsy Stone level of blackout drunk, the googly eyes are in fact quite tasteful

Screenshot of an instagram post from the ABC with the headline: “‘Blue blob' vandal who gave sculpture googly eyes ordered to pay compensation”

Screenshot of the caption on the instagram post: “Amelia Vanderhorst has been convicted on a graffiti charge after attaching googly eyes to the Cast in Blue sculpture in Mount Gambier. Her lawyer told the court Ms Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and drank about three litres of vodka on the night of the vandalism. Magistrate Kylie Schulz ordered her to compensate the Mount Gambier City Council and complete community service.”

if i’m being completely honest, i’m wildly impressed at the level of restraint

especially after three litres of vodka and a couple of mollies

oh you are SUCH a pessimist

i’m really not sure moisturiser is among the things you can leave out the front as a “I don’t need this you can have it” kind of deal

are you a doctor? keep your nose out of my holes ploise

i forgot where i was for a second, this opened my pores

do it. they need to learn.

don't mansplain counting calories to me, i'm too cute and lovely to have to deal with two problems at once

every time i try to count calories all the numbers morph into some kind of eldritch horror

i'm just going to stuff my face and exercise and if something goes wrong, well i have like 800 FBEs in the average year - one of them will probably pick something up :) :) :)

this isn’t about what we already have in the pantry. salt’s had her time in the sun.

it’s time for a new diva.