Side effects include ‘fuck yeah, this is fun!’

I bet they all took a little bit of that vertigo medicine.

Please leave this pitcher in. Please leave this pitcher in.

me, watching my favourite team play my favourite sport

no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend

Juvenile baldy!

Ugh. Even Artemis is being harassed by some jet skis.

I'm moonscrolling

Artemis splashed down and the Jays’ bats woke up.

Makes you think…🧐

Schneider making it worth his while. Let’s go Jays, wake up.

Solve for work There is no written word without a weary hand wielding the pen.

Wrote a little thing in my newsletter this morning about the way people talk about AI and writing, and the devaluation of labour

www.anxietyshark.ca/solve-for-wo...

I hate sequin jacket guy so much.

In Gausman we trust.

(Have the rest of ‘em stopped barfing (or what have you) yet?)

Please, just let a bitch be in awe of the universe and explore her emotional depths.

Mr. Burns in the classic Simpsons softball episode: "Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunes, there's an outside chance. But NINE misfortunes? I'd like to see that!"

The currently injured Toronto Blue Jays. Are you reading the alt text because you don't recognize all their face? That's fine. Alt text is for everyone. Alejandro Kirk broke his thumb on a freak foul-tip. Addison Barger somehow fucked up both his ankles at once while running through first base. Max Scherzer has tendinitis because of course he does he's 41. Cody Ponce barely got to appear in his debut and then shredded his knee on a freak jogging error and might not return all season. Trey Yesavage has a bum shoulder but he'll be back. Jose Berrios has a bum elbow and I'm less confident he'll be back. Bowden Francis' arm is cooked and is getting Tommy John surgery. Shane Bieber has a busted elbow but I hear he's throwing off a mound again. And finally Anthony Santander, who, despite conflicting reports, is indeed a salaried employee of the Toronto Blue Jays, is on the 60 day DL with a busted shoulder. NOT PICTURED: Lauer has the flu.

Nana will save them! (I hope she can just watch the game and not have to like pitch an inning or anything)

Taps sign.

I realize that this is not what you want to be thinking on April 6, but I really think that Eloy Jimenez could save the Jays

March 15: the jays have too many starters

April 15: the jays are using their 35th pitcher of the season

The vibes are in shambles. <baseball>

rax king vindicated as longtime dylan hater suck it jabronis

I love seeing a lefty locate.

(This could be about Eric Lauer or Canadian politics)

Lauer. 🫡

Eric Lauer saved the 2025 season, people forget this

On an 81 walk off win pace.

Already sick of these A’s. Get Chandelier and Sodastream out of my face.

dylan cease. long unkempt hair and bushy mustache

davis schneider, high and tight, cop mustache

dylan cease looks like he should be cutting a record that davis schneider would confiscate from his kids

when someone asks to see my photo roll

The Toronto Blue Jays just got 11 strikeouts from their starters in back-to-back games for the first time in their entire existence.

Turns out my kink is watching Cease strikeout Langoliers.