Screenshot of poll text that reads, in relevant part: "Independent analysis shows this legislation could put over 10,000 jobs at risk in Chicago, with hundreds of small local delivery businesses forced to close or relocate. The workers most at risk at predominantly people of color in OUTER-BOROUGH NEIGHBORHOODS..."
When your industry group is commissioning a push-poll, don't forget to translate it fully to local lingo first 🤣
Rahm could switch to have the exact same opinions on me on every single topic and I wouldn’t vote for him because he covered up a murder.
love bluesky because the replies to this post immediately descend into people fighting about whether the minions would have worked for stalin
27 years since the Columbine High School massacre.
27 years of failing to protect our kids.
27 years without common-sense gun laws.
I watched it as a student. Now it’s only gotten worse for our kids.
We need an assault weapons ban.
I admit this is another reason I side-eye people who are suspiciously chill about potentially missing flights
Like to some of them, it's unquestionable that they know it's an antisemitic lie. But I suspect some of them need it to be true as a load-bearing fiction to preserve their sense of righteousness
“Over on Twitter, they’re” shhhhh. Shhh.
Shh.
Every single right wing scumbag is in on the take, and they're probably excusing it to themselves with the lie that George Soros does it so why shouldn't they
In honor of Tim Cook's stepping down, here is the story of how I emailed him, not once but twice, with open email tracking enabled, only to discover that, not once but twice, my emails to the CEO of Apple were opened on a computer running Windows.
Man, when you compare the bravery of every day Minnesotans to the overpaid cops it’s astounding
"particularly" is a funny way to spell "exclusively"
bring back shame
New asshole to block.
An underrated 21st century skill is knowing what level of digital friendship you should have with somebody. Getting that Instagram request and being able to say, "no, LinkedIn mutuals is right for us." Tough when you realize belatedly that you don't actually want to know what your gym trainer thinks
my angry post about this case this morning is now an angry article
Roy Anthony Scott was in a mental health crisis and called 911 asking for help
Cops came and killed him, & now the Court is casting doubt on whether the cops can be held accountable for his death
ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/smith...
Stage managers. What you’re looking for is stage managers
Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.
Here's wishing every single hospital administrator who complied in advance a very wakes up in a cold anxious sweat every day until they a) reverse course and b) apologize.
Old: Wrigley Field's Billy Goat
New:
Not the first time
She is awful and should be fired but man that is three women out of the Cabinet and not a single guy
Tim Cook's legacy will be enshittifying Apple's software, abusing their market dominance, and then playing apologist to fascism.
Under his leadership they burned billions on a car that never drove, and the only major attempt at a new product during his tenure (the Apple Vision Pro) was a total dud.
Orange fluffy cat inside my car.
I have to go to work and this is not my cat.
investigate everyone involved in DOGE
Some timeline stuff:
— We expect to get InfoWars.com after the judge clears it in a couple of weeks.
— We'll build a world of characters on the site and across social media. Tim Heidecker is in charge, and we have grand designs.
— Visit theonion.info, buy a subscription, help us dominate the world.
Did I just argue with a joke? Part of a Bluesky educational series
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
