"I am languid & bedeviled & cetera..."

"don't kill urself" meme but instead it's "become a nun"

😍

Who was your favourite person to drink with today?

Man, we have SO much catching up to do

A cookbook in a shop window called "28 Days Keto"

28 Days Later from the zombies' perspective:

Sweet Jesus there are no DMs in which to slide 😱

Hot diggity damn, that's what it's all about 🥵

Just realised "420 glaze it" was a way better version of this joke

no

I am surrounded by such mirrors at all times, like a Dyson sphere. I'm always trying to put bad vibes out there and I'm always copping them right back in the face.

I wrote something odd and upsetting: www.tamriel-rebuilt.org/asset/sum-se...

It's time

Buddy nooooo!

It was weird, every time I tried to focus clearly, it seemed to swim and swirl. Satan's work, no doubt.

A board outside a church that prominently says "meet Jesus" next to a QR code

If you scan the QR code a gun comes out and shoots you in the head

Whoa 😮

Me getting in the shower just now:
🎵 Splash around
Splash around
Get wet, get wet
And then drown 🎵

Rude.

You should ask people how they ziggu-rate it.

Man in blue shirt with hand near goat, goat leaning away

I did not punch this goat.

Mich this looks so good 😊

You had the chance, homie, but you wanted to "earn money" and "afford to live".

No one 😐

Perfect so far

baby goats

adult cow

Literally never been happier

100% yes 🍻

A suggested custom emoji that is an explosion going off amidst many smiling faces

WhatsApp was really like "hit 'em with the airstrike emoji!"

A blue and white Devon Rex doing just the biggest yawn you've ever seen.

I'm hearing people want to see more of the cat 🐈