FYI, Ben Collins is 100% not the editor-in-chief, we would never let him write a single joke, I mean, look at him.

Lol

store.theonion.com/collections/...

PARKER YOU ARE GROUNDED

yeah, easily clears 6 feet—don't really understand heights much after that. Pretty sure he is less than 8 feet though? That feels correct.

A secret thing about Ben that people don't realize is that he is surprisingly tall

Anna we are hooting/hollering

Alex is now playing @timheidecker.bsky.social's Infowars video. I have left my body.

THANK you. I think it is Maje?

A graphic that has a rainbow INFOWARS logo with the onion dingbat that says, I support The Onion's hostile media takeover.

GET IT OUT THERE!! <3

Confirmed.

thanks for your support!

FYI steal this graphic.

Infinite gay frogs forever

InfoWars Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing…

theonion.info in the meantime?

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

Man, that Nine Inch Noize Coachella set is so strangely life affirming, hearing someone screaming God is a virus over industrial beats and smiling, "yes, you can keep pushing yourself and make interesting work, there is no reason to slip into the lotus eating of nostalgia."

monkeymanweb Does Trent Reznor have someone who goes on tour just to put powder on his clothes, or does he doing it himself? treznor I do it myself.

Motherfucker coming put of fan interaction retirement to tell someone how he puts on his stage powder

*turning off Nine Inch Noize*

My cats: Meow
Me: Heyyyyyy
can we STOP
DUNDUN
me, I’m not

You know, Boys Noize never beat the blog house allegations, but his imprint on these songs is so goddamn impressive (and German!)

Hot take: I like the further down the spiral version of “memorabilia” better still.

I said it last weekend, but I don’t think it is an accident these are all anti fascism songs (Vessel, Heresy, The Warning)

The truth is, with this Noize version, I believe Trent when he says he wants to fuck you like an animal. Like, he means it.

Re: Closer. Using the lietmotif as the intro is so smart.

I like to imagine that the dancers all book weekends so some of the folks laying around in cornstarch were backing up Sabrina last night

Trent Reznor The

I mean, that’s it, I am swearing off men under the age of 50

I would travel for that.

Copy of a copy is kind of a dopey song but this version is brutal

Everyone is talking about how good Nine Inch Noize sounds but the lighting design is unreal.

“When a mommy and daddy really love each other, they feel each other from the inside…”