You know...at one point in time, it would have scared me. But given today's timeline and climate, I could really go for a good old-fashioned lobotomy right about now.

My Wife: *doing an impression of an Italian when the only ones she knows are me and my Cirino side of the family 🤌🏻🤌🏻 "HUH??!" 🤌🏻🤌🏻 "HUH??!" 🤌🏻🤌🏻 "NOooOO!!" 🤌🏻🤌🏻 "WHAT??!!"

Idk whether to be offended or proud that she's been paying so much attention. 🥲

Look at this handsome beast. Was there ever a panther more handsomenor than this? #tuxie #sharpdressedman #tuxedocat #catsofbluesky #petsofbluesky

Idk who needs to hear this today but...

Even if your autism is only ever self-diagnosed, it is still completely and unequivocally valid. YOU are valid in your autistic experience. #autism #selfdiagnosis #theautisticexperience #actuallyautistic

People on the weekend: *partying or out cheating on their spouse or trying to

My little autistic ass on the weekend: *building a sandcastle in a video game with the same characters I've been in love with since I was 6.

#pokopia #pokemon #pallettown

me: (admiring my large triangle-shaped cat) "Ah, yes. The strongest shape."

Trying to work "girl mom" into the conversation until someone asks me about my kids and then seeing how long it takes them to notice that all my children are animals and/or rocks. 👀

My Dad: (quoting his favorite movie to himself while eating fries) "Mmm-hmmm. I like them french fried potaters."
Me: "No you don't, Oprah!"

#30Rock #SlingBlade #Oprah

"What would Waymo do?" She said, unironically and with all the liveliness of a broken down 2013 Ford Fiesta.

What would Waymo do...

My Wife: (having a flare up of her newly diagnosed autoimmune liver disease) "You have no idea what this is like."
Me: (with celiac disease) "You're right. I know absolutely nothing about autoimmune diseases that randomly activate in your 30s and reshape your entire life." 😒

Never forget. #shame #baddog #dogsofbluesky #shibainu

There are two wolves inside you...

The two wolves inside me:
#twowolves #shibainu #dogsofbluesky

me: (*walking)
bean: (*races to be directly under my feet)
me: "Must you, Little Bean? Must you?"
bean:

Does anyone else ever stop and think about how much better life would be if everyone wasn't carrying around the generational trauma that comes with female oppression? #feminism #matriarchy

Being An Autistic AFAB in A Neurotypical World:

Me: "I gotta get out of here. The smell of that raw chicken is gonna make me vomit."
Person: "Ash, you're all the way across the room. I can barely smell it and I'm preparing it. What are you, pregnant or something?"
Me: "Nope. Just autistic."

Me: (finds small Jesus figurine in public)
Deeply religious MIL: (handing it to my 2yo great niece) "Look, baby. Can you say I love Jesus?"
Great Niece: (throws small Jesus on the ground)
MIL: 😰
Me: "Yes, my little demon baby! Rise from the ashes! Reject authority! Hail Satan!" 😈

Okay, but why are they out here looking like #jackandrose from #titanic while #myheartwillgoon is played in the background by a 6-year-old on a recorder? #shibainu #dogsofbluesky

She looks at you like this, what do you do? #dogsofbluesky #shibainu #cutie

Weird social lesson I've learned while having celiac:

No matter how many times you say "No, thank you. I can't have that. I have celiac disease." Everyone is still always going to offer you bread. Always. 👀

Little Bean's a #pirate Arg! The saltiest little sea dog I know. It's a pirate's life for Bean. 🏴‍☠️ #catsofbluesky #petsofbluesky #tuxie #tuxedocat #trouble #salty

So you mean to tell me that I've spent the last 3 decades raw dogging AuDHD in a world where everything sounds like 15 different radio stations playing at 50 volume all at once inside a tin can and you think my problem is that I "just don't listen too good?" #audhd #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd

Any takers? She's free. And very bad. #catsofbluesky #tuxedocat #tuxie #badcat #kittens #kitty

"Wait. If you're Italian, then why don't you carry pasta around with you like people from Italy do?"

Me: (pulling a handful of rigatoni from my pocket) "But...I do."

My wife said "don't hang that flag." But what I heard was "you're a pirate and can do whatever you want. Be gay, do crime." #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #begaydocrime #pirate

Some of y'all have never watched A Bug's Life and it shows.

Having a bad day? Here are some photos of my girls in their little bows. 🫶🏻 #shibainu #dogsofbluesky #shiba #pupper #holidays #beautifulgirls

When you smell your own paw and it is...offensively stinky. #tuxedocat #catsofbluesky #stinkycat #kitty

My little rainbow pup. 🌈 #lgbt #lgbtqia #rainbow #tiedye #dogsofbluesky #shibainu #doggo #stainedglass

We've been watching #helluvaboss because we are huge fans of #hazbinhotel. And I caught Little Bean watching intently with us and asked her what she thought of the show. This was her reaction: