Not everyone has the charisma to say “fuck all” and buy an historic tall ship to go full Anne Bonny off the coast of FL with their friends for the summer but I bet you could. That means you should def take your meds and hydrate and moisturize. Huzzah!

Today had a surprise ending. I hope you’re taking care of yourself the best way you can. So you know, that means you took your meds and maybe had some water?

You ever do the thing where a word is just fun to say so you say it over and over and then you realize you’re chanting “kerfluffle” like you’re gonna release an eldritch horror from the back of the freezer? Me neither. Take your meds.

I’m thinking good thoughts about you and you can’t stop me. For instance: I bet you remembered your meds today and had some water and you’re gonna moisturize your face before bed like the bad ass you are. I KNEW IT.

I better feel better tomorrow tho cause the doctor told the hoomom to bring me back if my butt is still splodey and the baff place said to come back next week for a free baff which I think is silly because I’ve already had two. That’s too many baffs. Okay love you bye! 8/8

and it maded me a little better so she gave me a good treat, but the stinky foods is still in my bowl and she says I should eat it even though I don’t wanna so the entire partment smells like fish farts. 7/8

I slepted all day when we got back to the partment and these are pittures of me showing the hoomom I am not a happy Bagel, but I can’t be too mean because she’s really worried I won’t eat foods. I throwed up a little after my long nap and the hoomom gave me a pill for my tummy 6/8

The doctor told the hoomom my butt sploded from zy-et-ee probly, and I should eat foods that don’t taste good even though they come from a can and SHOULD taste good because they smells real bad. 5/8

This morning I had a splodey butt and the people didn’t like that so they called the hoomom and I hadda see a doctor who pokeded my parts and then have another baff just for my butt. It was okay though I GUESS because you guys the hoomom came back. 4/8

I hadda sleep in a crate thing with other puppers around and she knows I hate that. And I had the pills that make me sleepy a lot and the peoples at the place gaved me a baff AGAIN which I did not ask for thank you so muchly. 3/8

but she didn’t put in nothin for Simcha Bagel essept some foods and the pills that makes me sleepy and my humpy hedgeyhog. We went on a car ride and she tooked me to the place we went last times when I had a baff and then she LEFTED ME THERE FOR EBER. 2/8

Simcha’s Big Adventure: it’s been forevvvvvvver friends, did you miss me? Cause I have had a time, let me tell you! I shoulda knowed something was up, this pitture of me and the hoomom is on the day this week she was puttin clothes in the bag like when we goes visit, 1/8

Do you do the thing where you say you’re going to do something and you have the best of intentions but then you fall down a distraction hole and it doesn’t happen? Me neither. Remember your meds and water and moisturize. No distractions.

If you want your life to be unicorns and stuffed animals and cupcakes and macarons you’re the boss of you and you can make that happen. Don’t forget your meds, have water and moisturize too. And new thing: have you been outside today? Do that too.

Be told hencewithforth that on this day, you impressed the shit out of every single one of the Canadian geese on your block. I know they look like a hard sell, but they’re all in. They saw you drink water and take your meds and they’re so impressed.

You know what? Sometimes your friends just sit back and stare because you are the most perfect version of you there is. And you’re here. With us. I bet you even remembered your meds today! Have some water with me, for fun.

Hey. You’re allowed to lean into snuggly times if that’s what you need, friend. You can also do all the things if you feel like it. Either is cool. But don’t forget your meds. Drink some water. Moisturize your face. You’re loved.

I will have you know that even if the internet went down tomorrow I would still care about you and hope you were living your best life. Take care of yourself— take your meds, drink some water, and moisturize your face. You deserve it.

Listening to your body is hard, especially when it means NOT doing things. You’re loved and you get to have days to heal when needed. Your friends and coworkers get it and want you to be your best too. Get the ice pack for your face and take a nap.

Another day, another opportunity for your sinuses to try and eat your face. So be sure you took your meds so you don’t have to lay on the couch with ice packs strapped to your head. Also drink some water for a change.

You made it all the way through Wednesday and you managed not to found a cult (probably). Do you know how hard that is with a magnetic personality? Now make sure you took your meds and have some water so you don’t end up the subject of a podcast.

Listen up, blueberry-peep: you are absolutely the most important thing about today. Without you today didn’t happen. So take care of yourself by having your meds and slurping some water so tomorrow is just as good, Kay? Kay.

May your day be full of old British dudes fascinating you with the mating habits of different kinds of manakin birds. THEY HAVE BACKUP DANCERS OKAY?! Also take your meds and have some water and moisturize your face.

Did you remember your meds today? I’ll bet you even had some water because that’s just the kind of day you’ve been having, huh? Treat yourself tonight, you magnificent beastie!

Some days you’re “messy bun and getting things done” some days you’re eating ice cream out of a mug with that stamped on it. It’s all the vibe. Don’t forget your meds, water, and evening beauty regimen. Enjoy the ice cream.

What if your brain is wrong and you’re NOT all those things you’re thinking when you feel terrible about you? Spoiler: it’s true. Take care of you, remember your meds, have water, moisturize something. You’re loved.

You made it almost all the way through the week and now it’s Thursday night! I am so proud of you! Now take a second and have some water while you check if you took your meds. Then do something really great for yourself because you earned it.

When I die, I want a wisteria vine planted on my grave. So I can creep all up in everybody’s business, be pretty, wear purple, attract bees, and no matter how often you cut me back, there’s always a vine you didn’t see ready to wreck your shit.

Hey. You. You know you’re a badass, right? Like, not only does someone’s therapist know ALL about you, but they secretly think you deserve a cookie. So have a cookie. Also your meds if you haven’t yet, and some water for flavor.

I’ve been laid up with painful belly all weekend so I did fuck all. But don’t let anyone treat you like a Great Value gluestick. You’re glitter glue and don’t you forgot yet. You’re fancy. Take your meds. Drink some water. Moisturize cause it’s getting hot outside.