the penne opticon

MFW I'm sipping from the False Grail everyday at lunch

From “The Simpsons” house genius John Swartzwelder, interviewed in The New Yorker by Mike Sacks

All of the best things I’ve written I’ve been scared to write. Let it be what it is. You can fix it later.

A screenshot of some graffiti in the game Left 4 Dead that reads "we are the real monsters." The graffiti below it that usually reads "no that's the zombies, idiot" has been crudely scribbled over and replaced with "yeah that checks out."

the environmental storytelling graffiti at Palantir:

Palantir are about six months away from ordering their employees to leave audio logs scattered around their offices

the quality of each star trek show is directly proportional to how often you see the characters engaging in hobbies

This is how I found out that the classic Sesame Street 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 song was by the Pointer Sisters!

If you like interesting music chat and laughs this podcast might be for you?

Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social holy shit. i was just watching the cavs-raptors game and the ball fell out of the bottom of the basket. it was with 4:04 left in the second quarter if you can get your hands on a replay. the guy shot the ball, it went through the hoop, and then it straight up fell out of the net and onto the floor 2:11 PM • Apr 18, 2026 Everybody can reply v 57 reposts 6 quotes 6 quotes 814 likes 4 saves

i'm deleting this post. since posting it i watched some more basketball and it turns out this is pretty much always what happens

Sad to see Din Djarik supporting THE BIG TRUMP FUNDRAISER

A catalogue listing for a plumbing component: Draw Off Cock Washer

Telling another cowboy to stand down:

Federal judge unloads on ‘unserious’ RFK Jr., says anti-trans policy showed his ‘cruelty’ Judge Mustafa T. Kasubhai vacated the “Kennedy Declaration,” finding it unlawfully attempted to override medical standards and restrict care for transgender youth.

Breaking: HHS’s ban on gender-affirming care is struck down. Rarely have I read a ruling this sharply worded.

“This case is one of a long list of examples of how a leader’s wanton disregard for the rule of law causes very real harm to very real people.”

www.advocate.com/politics/nat...

remember when celebrities seemingly randomly started coming out talking about how much they loved NFTs and thought it was super valuable and the future?

"I proved myself a coward who would not help a dying man eat Quaker oats"

Achewood ass ad

Ok so this place is definitely gonna be like the Hitlerbunker for Trump and Netanyahu after he permanently flees from Israel, right

The fact that "being taxed on a wealth that would take most people dozens of generations to gather" is "the scariest thing she's ever seen" means the world isn't scaring millionaires and billionaires nearly enough yet.

Exactly one year ago today:

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

‘Coyote vs. Acme’ takes a jab at Warner Bros. for initially shelving their film for taxes in new trailer announcement video.

“Happy Tax Day. Check your write-offs.”

In theaters August 28th.

Found this image in my phone from 2019.

Me, having a stroke: call the ambulunz

You: are you having a stroke?

Me: by docgo, the ambulunz

really giving away my age by liking this but LOL

accidentally ordered the Big American Joke Drink (xxl cappuccino) at a busy cafe this morning and the entire place erupted in laughter and cheers as the guy brought it over, placed it in front of me, and handed me a foot-long spoon to stir it with.. italy rocks

Toni T | @PhosphorGlow Venmo is a digital wallet that lets you make and share payments with friends. You can easily split the bill, cab fare, or much more. Download the iOS or Android app or sign up on Venmo.com today.

hey so i hate to do this again so soon after the last time but some unexpected expenses came up and we are in the negative again and need to afford groceries/etc

if you can’t afford to help please don’t just if you can spare any it would be so helpful

venmo.com/u/PhosphorGlow

You can hear that shit in your head clear as day

The “Calvin’s dad explains two types” meme, inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. Clockwise from top left: 1) Calvin’s dad walks into frame to find Calvin trying to operate a record player. The dad says: “There are only two industries left in America: gambling, and fraud.” 2) The dad shows where the record goes, and how to turn on the player, while Calvin watches. Dad says “Derivatives? Gambling. AI? Fraud. Video games? Gambling. Social media? Fraud.” Calvin says “yeah”. 3) With one hand open palm up, Calvin’s dad cheerfully explains to Calvin out of frame below him, “The stock market looks like gambling, but it’s actually fraud.” 4) In bed in a dark room, Calvin clutches at his pillow, eyes wide in existential terror. There is no text in the panel.