Bad day for the orifice, surely...

Indeed. Fella has got it all wrong.

🙌

Driver clocked at 135mph on way to collect a Chinese takeaway

Article fails to address the bigger question: what did he have?

pint o' Murphy's

Oh aye

Here they are now, the lads.

by the old canal

🎶dreamed a dream...🎶

Street in Primrose Hill

Out early

Out in Primrose Hill last night. Think I was the only bloke not called Josh and wearing a gilet. Paid £20 for a perfunctory burger and chips. Weather was nice at least.

Ben & Matt as angels in Dogma

Walked past about a month ago but I've not been in for ages.

Welly?

I like the Purple Moose.

Wordle 1,764 4/6*

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First glance, I thought that was an edgelord bottle of wine.

Prada Loafer girl has left to be 'a creative at an AI startup'.
Sure, why not, you're only cosplaying a career anyway.

Shania Twain is an anagram of Hawaiian Satan. #totp

Snoot

Expires in 2031? That's insane.

Just got a new credit card...

Classic.

Lovely spring day here - the locals are down to only one overcoat and woolly hat each.

Keanu-esque woaaaaah.

Wordle 1,762 2/6*

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Gallo Piri Piri Extra Forte

I'm no stranger to hot sauce, but more than a couple of drops of this is like being pepper sprayed.

Greene King pubs are terrible.

Love the idea of the Pope and the Ayatollah joining forces to take down a backstabbing, egotistical real estate dipshit. Feels like season 3 of The Wire

Just returned from her weekend, with most of the cake and loads more food than she took. No-one is ever in charge with the #InLaws. I can't take the chaos, glad to have had a quiet couple of days alone here.

Zondervan!

I'm enjoying Ronnie Wood in the front row with a blanket over his knees.

Usually fine, just the collective mania of the #InLaws kicking in. Currently re-organising all of her toiletries because she can't find a small enough shower gel to take for two nights in the Lakes.

She's just back from the supermarket (where she bought loads of ready made things for this weekend) but she's missing a few ingredients so now I have to go to the shop around the corner.