That’s why her holes so gaped. It’s full of secrets.

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The pre glow up pictures being brought out to haunt me for my birthday. 😩

Thank you Auntie Nanna Craig 🥰🥰🥰🥰

29 today 💪 who wants some birthday boy cake 😏

Manifesting Gaga releasing new music for my birthday tomorrow 🙏

The worst hangxiety today 😞

a young boy is sitting on a couch making a funny face . ALT: a young boy is sitting on a couch making a funny face .

Why are there Spanish school children in the most random places in the city. Viva la Elephant and castle apparently.

A Gran Canaria and Toronto trip has just about done me in 😩 I need 2000 hours of sleep now

Need Pisces season to finish already so I can stop being all up my emotionsss

My Muslim colleagues were talking about all the food they’re planning for Eid and I’m like drooling 😩🥺

The app’s off my phone and I’m really considering getting rid of the whole account. I’m so angry and upset.

X is actually a cesspit since M*sk bought it. Why is abuse content not being removed immediately? It’s fucking disgusting.

Fairs. Maybe a bit tone deaf on my part on reflection.

Did I nearly pass out at the wheel of my car on a duel carriageway because I was doing the breathing part of She wolf by Shakira a bit too enthusiastically? Yes, yes I did.

I think one of the very few things I miss about being in a relationship, is having someone to tell that I’ve just had the most waist slimming poop in existence to.

My do I have the nervous system of someone who’s going to war today, for literally no reason 🙃

Off on another little solo trip tomorrow, and I literally cannot waaaitt

She’s a menace that one.

shrek from the animated film shrek is smiling and looking at the camera ALT: shrek from the animated film shrek is smiling and looking at the camera

Hi.

Goes without saying, but you’re either a cunt or an idiot if you’re even considering voting one of the reduce, reuse, recycle (Tories) parties.

Why aren’t children kept on leads anymore.

Just pop a bin bag down on the seat and I’ll give everyone the 4DX experience without the up charge.

Was being a bit of a purist and not see it, but kinda wanna go flick my bean to Wuthering Heights at some point 👉👈 💦 💦

If Authenticator app has no enemies, then I am dead.

Eeeeeekk so proud of you bby

I love how it’s included the gay lil neckerchief 😍

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Personally don’t think we should be paying full price train tickets when it’s rail replacement, but here we are.

I keep getting actual bikers asking what type of motorbike I ride, but i literally bought this just to ride dick and butts 😞

Things men do that are literally so slutty to me.

- Baking bread
- Using a pottery wheel.
- Concentrating intensely.
- Being grumpy (but not angry)
- Drinking whisky and actually enjoying it.
- Lifting arms up to stretch and a bit of tummy poking out.