Put pants on right before noon. We’re getting there.

Goth Honey! 💀🥀🐝🪦

Market it in a squeezy casket bottle.
🍯⚰️

Trying to explain St Augustine to the pope, the former head of the Augustinian order, who wrote his doctoral thesis on Augustine, on his way back from celebrating mass at the Basilica of St Augustine in Annaba, Algeria, overlooking the site where Augustine lived is peak Adult Catholic Convert.

Me: “I’ll start the chores at half past.”

It’s already 11:39. ⏰

A cream colored long sleeve sweatshirt where one arm has a yellow cuff and an eye pained above the cuff to give the impression the sweatshirt is a goose and the arm is is head

i think this goose sweatshirt might fix me

70’era photo of Dolly holding an orange cat. Dolly is smiling and beautiful like always. Her hair is big and reaching up to God

Timeline cleanser, here’s Dolly Parton holding a cat ✨

not finishing what you started isn’t always lazy, sometimes it’s ok to just say fuck that shit

Waiting until it drops onto BritBox 🥲

May these possums shouting in Werner Herzog's voice bring comfort to your day.

It is 29°C and I have started a brewery in the previously vacant lot where my bra rubs underneath my boobs.

Please let someone go trekking across the icy wastes pulled by a team of kinksters in collars.

“I asked ChatGPT.”

Ok, well I dialed 1-800-MISS-CLEO because she said “CALL ME NOW,” so I did and now I owe her $138 but I know when I’m going to die

https://owlsintowels.org/

Omg, 😍.

“This is a site for pictures of owls… in towels.”

owlsintowels.org

They want them to have ADHD with poor emotional regulation and literally be stressed to tears over the pettiest shit????? That’s definitely a thing but I don’t know that it makes for compelling fiction.

Peace, love, wolf pups 🐺

“Joke’s on you, I actually look super cute in this tube top.”

🎸THAT AIN’T WORKIN
THAT’S THE WAY YOU DO IT
MONEY FOR NOTHIN
AND YOUR CHICKS FOR FREE🤪

There's a secret to folding a fitted sheet and it's simple: have low expectations

Dangit, I could’ve run on that platform myself!

I'm so pumped, let's pull an 1814 and convince the British to burn down the White House again.

An adorable raccoon.

What a 19th-Century Photograph Reveals About Power, Privilege and Violence in the American West The girl in the middle demands our attention. She looks straight at the camera, wrapped tight in a trade blanket that conceals her body. Six white men in military and civilian garb crowd her space,…

Read an excerpt of Martha A. Sandweiss’s The Girl in the Middle in @literaryhub.bsky.social:

Rear view of a black bird with wings spread and tail fanned as it lands in a bare tree. Golden marsh grass in the background ©️DTL 2025

Common grackle coming in to land 🪶

“God forgives, but only my financial and sex crimes that make me a parasite and a danger to my community, not your demands for basic human rights.” 😎

Final_Version_of_Tarrifs_actualFINALcopy_version7_USETHISONE.docx

You’d think there would have been SOME shred of a Teachable Moment for Wall Street after of the entire Bernie Madoff situation, and yet…

I am not immune to having brain-dead takes. 🙊💐

Woman during a zombie outbreak: I have a bite mark on my arm and a high fever.

Doctor: Have you tried losing weight

I tried to provide a paradise for my houseplants but it appears to be more of a hostage situation.