hehehe cool cool

Originally Frodo tried to send the one right to Mordor via Elven Express- the mailing service but they Loth'd it.

-Tears for Fears

They are English muffins are they not?

Inside me are two wolves, a sheep, and a bag of grain and I have to get them across the river in a rowboat.

lol, imagine scolding the pope a week after you announce your memoir about how awesome it was to convert to catholicism

My parents couldn't afford to get me into Hogwarts so I ended up learning at Pigzits.

Guess who has 5 thumbs and is tripping on LSD right now?

Oooh. That is what that Chili Peppers song is about! Thanks!

Me when my lactose intolerant ass slams a milkshake

omg stop farting and
pissing and shitting and
crying about it already

KinkedIn

"Maybe try getting a job you bum. Stop blocking the sidewalk!" I say with false bravado, backing fearfully away from the Canada Goose.

Just DO IT!

When have I ever NOT wanted you to just do the thing I asked you to do??!?!?!

Everything bagels have Ether now? Daaaammmmmnnnn we are good.

i will NEVER imagine dragons

Also known as a Tuesday afternoon in Ireland

Which one though..........

Ooooooohhhhhhhh

*Pornhub furiously scribbling notes.*

The key is to pilot the most powerful ship of all.

Friendship.

Ok let's see if I got this straight:
BCE ??? God created a test, knowing we will all be damned for eternity

BCE ??? - AD 30ish Every person suffers eternal torment once they die

AD 30ish. A convoluted loophole saves those who devote themselves to Him

Present: God is Love.

Define crazy.. 7 pack?

International Chess Federation Adds Race Car Piece

International Chess Federation Adds Race Car Piece theonion.com/international-chess-fede...

You misspelled Pantry :-P

LOL That is awesome

More like Ladder trying its best amiright?
Not even close lol

Remember everyone. You need to be careful when you send pics to people. Especially.... those pics....

Now my angsty anime too-cool-to-smile for photo with terribly photoshopped hair is forever her wallpaper picture.

Well done!

Petition to put "United" in air quotes for United States of America. (Or 'Merca to translate for my southern neighbours)