getting ridiculously hungover on april fools was my primary prank

what a fool

been drinking beers you've never heard of before (it was fine)

i like young the giant because i am young and giant

big update: i have the sniffles

The fact that A² + B² = C² omg…

drinking until i decide to get a tattoo

cant wait for this trend to catch on

#roastpost

not drunk enough after this night out im v sad

just made #toomuchrisotto

going to start posting my poetry on substack again instead of going to therapy

okay drafts will actually keep me on this app a bit more, some skeets are for tomorrow

still reeling about oldboy being so naff

😭😭 standard behaviour

leg day so hellish i might not go back to work tomorrow

my keyboard is thirsty it yearns for beer

and 500 cigarettes

i'm going to have an annoying prick sandwich to make myself feel better

not even worth starting the "say something contemptible" clock its just any sentence someone says to me

being in a state of "needing to quit my job" for two years is so awesome actually

cheerleading myself

mood board

just bought a shirt and shoes for no reason on vinted as well 😭

having to go to work instead of sleeping with someone, this isn't fair

first person to wear a tie in a simmons bar

what if i put you on?

take shelter in the shacklewell toilets if you dare

let me know !!!

anytime you know that ;)