Twice in one day, MGS image bot?

*consoling someone named Elizabeth* perhaps they meant you have the power and majesty of Godzilla’s atomic breath.

Woman at the Taco Bell drive thru said she liked my hair.

*on the phone with my sword dealer* no, being cursed is not “basically the same thing,” ok. For one, curses can be broken.

A black butterfly with white spots sipping nectar from a bundle of little yellow flowers.

Snack time for this butterfly. Nom nom nom.

Mike Cera, Cera 🎵
Whatever Mike C., will be 🎶
Was in the Barbie movie 🎶
Mike Cera, Cera 🎵

The Calvin's dad explaining records meme. He is explaining that the two kinds of meme are Calvin's dad and Loss. Despite being a meme about Calvin's dad, this one is Loss.

“There was an issue fetching posts” - me at age 14 helping my dad build a fence

Five more minutes

Feels like I’m making good progress. I’m gonna take a nap. I’ve earned it.

It’s always the bleak, uninhabitable moonscapes, never the sexy, action-packed ones.

And there was only one bed: a seminar on managing creative constraints in set design

Alright, time to sit down and start my taxes

I’m going to solve all my problems with an evil sword. And if that doesn’t work, it just means the sword wasn’t evil enough.

*rimshot*

You’ll regret this chief!
*slams gun on desk*
*slams badge on desk*
*slams key fob on desk*
*slams locker key on desk*
*slams notepad on desk*
*slams little folded up slip of paper I pulled out of a hat when we were picking secret Santas on the desk*

Gonna be a while, local arcade is refurbishing their air hockey machine

A bathroom mirror selfie of a white dude with medium blonde hair and a bandage on the bridge of his nose

I got this cut on the bridge of my nose doing cool action hero stuff*

*dumpster lid hit me in the face

In the foreground, small purple flowers grow by the side of the road. Beyond, a long chaparral speckled ridge separated by a great valley.

A signpost indicating the way to Hartman trail. An addendum tacked on top of the existing sign reads “trail not maintained”

A road winding past a lake surrounded by greenery. In the foreground, two trees frame the scene.

Photos from my Tuesday Hike. Almost 18 miles and I never saw another person. Lots of wildlife tho.

It’s 7% less combustible!

My other car is running real fast with my arms out to the side making whoosh noises

My other car is a child’s laughter

My other car is 1600 lbs of lightly refurbished wooden pallets

Probably for the best, now that I reflect on the manifold semantic interpretations of the phrase “wet hog”

To a man with a hammer*, every problem looks like a nail**

*affinity for graphic design
** wet hog bumper sticker

Had to hit the brakes to avoid a wet hog yesterday. I don’t know if they make “I brake for wet hogs” bumper stickers, but it turns out I do do that. Largely so that I don’t collide with the wet hogs.

Saw a horned lizard on my hike today! I didn’t even realize they ranged this far north. Thousands of miles hiked in these hills, and this is my first time seeing one.

If I was an astronaut I’d get space madness immediately. Frothing and gibbering as soon as they buckled me in.

Whenever someone mentions that I cut my hair, I say “it was time.” As though I decided to cut it based on the alignment of the planets or something.

Make some noise!
*crowd mumbles and shuffles their feet a little*
Ok, that’s on me. I should have specified how much.