Was not expecting the NY Post to give Mamdani such positive coverage

how is this literally happening in real life

I like that there’s an announcement on the subway that’s like “it’s illegal to kill someone on the subway.” Good reminder

Oh hell yeah, Death of a Salesman wifi

If we go to an event together, I WILL say “these seats aren’t bad!” as we’re sitting down. That’s the Dan Hopper Going To A Thing Guarantee

Trump's "rarely discussed, but deeply important religious beliefs" is such a funny description for a book

Pope should excommunicate Rob Schneider as a warning shot to the rest of them. Like a low level goon winding up in the trunk of a rental car.

Encountering the username WeakOnCrimePope in the 2014 SB Nation comments section and trying to divine the person's politics from how they talk about Dominican players

Whoa what the hell did I just do

i love when i log into something and it tells me some shit like Notification Hub is now Alert Village

Buying 19-year-old Konnor Griffin’s jersey and unlocking a new realm of age gap discourse

The doctors on The Pitt were trying to explain Styx to someone and named four songs but NOT “Renegade”, even though that’s the Steelers’ theme song ??

alex rodriguez (career earnings from mlb: ~$500m) is now hosting a podcast at his computer desk like every other schmuck i know

The Pitt thumbnail this week has strong Uber Driver Sucked Me Off??? vibes

When daycare posts a bunch of pics of kids who aren't mine

There’s this weird subsection of 170k follower twitter accounts called like The Dave Bawk Show who are completely right wing but antiwar and they’re just always going nooo you promised!!! at Trump like twice a week

Our kid got this toy "goo" and was playing with it forever then had to go to bed and kept crying "MY GOO! MY GOO!!!" and I kept imagining Daniel Day Lewis yelling "I'VE ABANDONED MY GOOOO!!!"

24 year old NYU grad replying to a $38k “Preditor” job now cutting daily war highlights for the president

A Doomsday Clock but for how close Disney is to re-releasing Song Of The South based on how anti-woke the culture is. We were looking at 11:59 before the Kimmel stuff went down

Using the bottom-dealing sleight of hand I learned from watching all the Ricky Jay specials to flip multiple pages at a time when my kid picks some long suck-ass book before bed when she’s clearly too tired to pay attention

Bronx Zoo Cobra
Angelina's Right Leg
NBC Delayed Olympics
Romney's Binder

Watching the most emotional ten minutes of basketball imaginable, a moment that will define the peak & valley of every kid's emotional life from that point forward, then checking my bracket I filled out in 8 seconds to be like "oh cool"

Those couple days when anyone could be fired for posting even neutrally about Charlie Kirk feel like an entirely different dimension

(The Pitt patient getting real) I wasn't always on opioids... I was a US Forest Service ranger for 30 damn years until some DOGE twerp fired me with a tweet

(Nurse) Eyes on the prize people, we got a whole poultry packing plant of prisoners headed our way with measles, due to the conditions there

Chuck Norris Go to the polls!

2007 was a wild time on the internet

Chuck Norris jokes were the first memes that people who weren't funny could join in on. A true harbinger.

My aunt was a nurse in Pittsburgh and once got me a calendar of the hospital’s helicopter, which I thought would be cool aerial shots of Pittsburgh but was actually 12 pictures *of* the helicopter. I felt bad not using it but what the hell man

Yelling this at the tv non stop for the next 3 weeks

Walked past a bar that was (presumably??) doing trivia and heard a guy on mic announcing “Timothy McVeigh! Timothy McVeigh.”