mfw when everything happens so much

A cool thing you can do instead of doom scrolling through the horrors is to simply watch an episode of The Vicar of Dibley.

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly

Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

I think Meg White is a good drummer just by the standards of being a good drummer but I think she’s an exceptional drummer by the standards of having her extremely strange husband come home one day and say that they were starting a band and had to dress alike and also she’s his sister now

I don't know what this says about me but I decided to take the night off and relax by watching Mad Max Fury Road for, and I'm not exaggerating, probably the 50th time. I don't say lightly that it might be a perfect movie.

The thing about being thirty nine years old is that I don't have to know there's a guy named Clavicular. Oh you want to tell me about him? Nah. I'm gonna make stew in the crockpot.

Joked with my friend Chad that we'd be these guys if we were there

Here's another guitar that goes with the two I posted today.

I can't believe the "New Yorker" REJECTED this cartoon!

This is one of those things where if you don’t know anything about Bob Dylan you go “yeah fine whatever”, and if you know a little about Bob Dylan you go “how could Bob Dylan do this?” and if you know a lot about Bob Dylan you go “yeah fine whatever”

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

Age and mental health improvements have tempered my Mountain Goats content creation from "a primary hobby" to "once every couple months and targeted exclusively at fans who also make a sound when they get in and out of a low chair".

I will never forget the people—including people I previously respected—who embraced the gutter racism directed at Somalis. It was perhaps the easiest moral test of our time, and so many people shamed themselves for life.

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

Phone less convenient in every way and furthermore it is for babies. You always see babies poking away at phones and tablets. A baby is never on the computer

My son, Andrew, is so based that he would just order milk when we went to dinner in Ottawa. This would always stun the waitstaff, as they had never heard anyone actually order milk!

My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

catᶜᵃᵗ

#Cat
#Caturday

GEORGE: The gyre's widening, Jerry!
JERRY: It's not widening.
GEORGE: IT'S WIDENING!
JERRY: Then how is the center going to hold?
KRAMER *enters*: It's anarchy out there. My falcon couldn't hear me.

Jeremy Strong as Markwayne Mullin when

I'm sorry ma'am, but your son perished on Kharg Island in a valiant effort to create Wii Bowling meme videos for the White House X account. In the face of danger, he was not cringe; he was based to his last breath. Please have this commemorative Epic Fury challenge coin. Yes that's Punisher, ma'am

Mr Bean in a beam

He should be called Mr beam

They’re saying on the news it’s illegal to listen to AFI’s Sing the Sorrow now but I’m still going to. If I don’t post again know why.

I know he grew up in Alberta and couldn't have gone to OFSAA.

They said this lead was unbeefable but luckily Pierre Poilievre went to OFSAA for beefing it (he came in second).

Mark Carney should have a little bell in his office and every time Trump says "Governor of Canada" an aide can ring it so he knows his poll numbers are about to get a bump.

I feel like it would just take one Pokémon looking at Pikachu and asking “why doesn’t he need to live in the ball?” to lead to some fuckin changes in that society

there's so much bad in the world but there's also people who lift up and carry an elderly bat around every day so he can pretend he's flying again, and that's the part of the world I think is worth fighting for