You know what? I cleaned all day and only ate a fruit smoothie and some of my homemade bread. I have earned a Taco Bell run.

You gotta tear the sleeves off your tee shirt too.

I want a labubu or a care bear or something so I can hang it from my cane’s wrist strap

here come old laptop
he come
bootin up slowly
he got
broken touchpad
he need
one more update
he got
no space
on this pc

one thing i can tell you
its got no warranty

“Because you liked Creep, you might enjoy: The Poughkeepsie Tapes”

Because you liked this roller coaster, you might enjoy: throwing yourself down a flight of stairs

Who else spent their afternoon whittling teeth out of soap?

Jigsaw: In front of you, you’ll see a beaker. It conta- wait. What are you doing?

Me: *chugging the liquid in the beaker*

Jigsaw: Don’t you want to know what the test is? If you do that, you’ll die.

Me: Ahhh! Buddy, I was dying of thirst already. Hehe heh. What’s the timer f

Gonna make a pain chart with the Thalasin+ emotions and wordlessly point at it when the nurse asks how I feel after my surgery.

a cartoon of a woman with white hair says i can feel this body dying all around me ALT: a cartoon of a woman with white hair says i can feel this body dying all around me

I don’t like how hard this hits these days

Me: *trying to sleep*

The voice in my head that sounds like Jimmy Stewart: Well, uh, gee whiz, I-I- I think you should get up and rearrange your pILLOws!

Someone on Twitter made a callout post about me because they were mad I blocked them, but the only thing they could think to say was to lie about me starting drama (ironic), and that I’m “odd”. Oh no! Not an oddball!

*play “And When I Die” by Blood Sweat and Tears from a boombox next to my open grave*

*watch my freshly buried corpse climb out and boogie down for three minutes, then climb back in*

Self portrait titled: Edema

Listen, the accident at LaGuardia is shocking and terrible, but you can’t hit me with the Breaking News alert like that, I got my hopes up for a second.

Joining the war on Chappell Roan. On the side of Chappell Roan.

Liver shaped cake!

Children love this classic.

Since I’m not going to have a wedding, can I have a marriage to my new organs when I get them?
Just to have an excuse to wear a nice dress and get the family together and have cake.

Easter Prepper over here. Congratulations, fella, you fit in the basket.

Can I come over and look at you like this?

I’m always here to listen, my own cares and woes need to sit down and take a break tbh.

Look! It’s the jeebus man!

This is happening on Twitter, btw. It happened to me too. Kind of seems like whoever owns the app should be held liable but what do I know.

Meg Devouring Her Kraft Mac & Cheese

Transgender Chicago man hospitalized after saving baby from drowning in Lake Michigan “I wasn’t going to let that baby die,” Lio Cundiff said.

This 30-year-old transgender man, who can’t swim, jumped into Lake Michigan after a wind gust blew a baby in a stroller into the freezing water.

He’s being called a hero. But now he has medical expenses, and people are donating to a fundraiser to support him.

www.advocate.com/news/lio-cun...

Picture of Marjane Satrapi alongside a quote from her. The quote reads: The world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same... - Marjane Satrapi, Iranian-French graphic novelist

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

hey yo what's up everyone, it's your boy fortunato, here with a new uncasking vid, my good friend monty from the "nemo me impune lacessit" podcast says he's got a hold of something really special for us, let's take a look

On this Rare Disease Day, we’re proud to share the most up-to-date information for ARPKD patients and families. Our newly updated Patient Handbook includes comprehensive information on ARPKD and congenital hepatic fibrosis (CHF). Download your copy today: pkdcure.org/for-patients...

So. Israel attacked Iran and now they’re putting their little hands up over their eyes and going “oh I’m so scared! Iran is going to attack us!”
Yeah no shit?

A YouTube thumbnail picturing a very fat old Bassett hound laying on the floor with the title of the video "No more depression. Meatball is ready to kill"