I've had a hard day of unsuccessful DIY here in the new house.
It's been a bit emasculating, but educational. Nothing's broken, but I went a bit hard-headed and gung-ho, and what I wanted to do is going to take another day.
Then I noticed my shower is, genuinely, printed in Comic Sans.
My internal thought processes when I'm unable to install a dishwasher in one afternoon
Reactions were mixed, and a little confused
Saw Steve Davis doing a DJ set in Sheffield last night.
It's not always obvious you've entered into a new age demographic for advertisers, but there can be subtle signs
Renting: Expensive, but you don't have to do much
Owning: Different expensive, endless list of things to do (the things to do are also expensive)
Who is least qualified: donkey kong jr. teaching math or popeye teaching English
I love how stahli's cigarette seems to be getting further and further away from his face in every new comic
Watching Integrity return to Earth and splashdown safely on the YouTube live stream whilst in VRChat with friends was so great. Every now and then it feels like living in the future ain't always so bad.
I'm still amazed that you can fit 2 terabytes on a microSD card nowadays, it's insane
The whole of the UK right now
What the postman sees when I open the door in my black Oodie in the mornings
mods are asleep post camera falling out of plane and landing in a pig pen to be licked by a pig
the first time i played double dragon at the arcade had your boy twisted. later that week, 8-year-old eric used a computer for the first time at the mall radio shack demo PCs, barely tall enough to look over the lip of the table, typing into DOS, "hello can you play double dragon?"
An unexpected consequence of moving into a new house is the amount of objects I've banged my head on whilst going about my daily business.
So far I've nutted the stairs, the cooker hood, and the fridge door. At this rate I'll have a full concussion before I've even finished unpacking
I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …
The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.
It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."
forgot the most important of the genre
Aww!
It's been a long day but I (and almost as importantly, all my things) have now moved into my new house.
I am tired and happy.
[ Talking to inanimate toaster and kettle ]
"You two could fit together in a box! A happy unexpected partnership! Maybe one day I'll live in a cardboard box. Maybe I'll be buried in a cardboard box!"
* toaster immediately releases half a kilo of breadcrumbs on the living room carpet *
Packing log, March 25th, 7:25pm:
Morale is low, and motivation to put more things into cardboard rectangles has rapidly diminished
Bubble wrap supplies are dwindling rapidly. The latest box of plates has been optimisticly padded with a Playstation Xmas jumper
The boxes mock me. I can hear them
mfw the nice Yorkshire-based removal man calls you on the phone to confirm your moving details and calls you "young man" and you don't feel like correcting him
Moving house on Thursday. I am currently surrounded by boxes. The amount of boxes will only increase over the next two days. I am no longer able to perceive objects not of a rectangular shape. I am one box away from being trapped in a cardboard prison. Send h📦lp th📦y ar📦 📦ttack📦ng 📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦📦
Llamas at home
Llamas at home
Shut up foxes
- This message sponsored by lovely loud screamy midnight cat noises
we say “o’clock” because time is irish
"Who's still listening to this in 2026? 🙏 ❤️ 💯"
Nice to see BBC News has reverted from its "widescreen red alert 72pt font major world-fuck event" headline style to its regular "that major world-fuck event is just another part of our grim daily existence, stick it on the bill" headline style
I may be biased but the cats deserved it first 😸
You can also see his balls for precisely four frames. I hope this information proves memorable and useful for you.
