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Posts by Gabe Zapata
A man looks in the mirror and says "I just got dumped. I feel I must shave my head now." The man shaves his head and on his otherwise smooth scalp, stubble starts to form. He says "OK. Perfect Now I'm going to do curls while fighting the urge to cry. He starts working out his biceps with an anguished expression on his face.
Delighted to report that 89-year-old minimalist composer Terry Riley still has his charmingly janky personal website up
Hamlet holds up Yorick's skull and say "alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio..." Horatio interjects "bro, we should turn his skull into a bong." Hamlet says "dude.. sick." Hamlet smokes weed out of the Yorick skull bong. Horatio eats a bag of chips.
The Kabbalistic Tree of Life saunters into a party holding a beer and wearing cowboy boots with spurs. A man asks "aw jeez, who invited the Kabbalistic tree of life?" Another man says "euch, he only ever wants one thing." The Tree of Life asks him "hey man, you got any blow?" The man says "naw dude. It's all laced with fentanyl now.." The Tree of Life says "haha... yeah. cool... cool..." The tree of life immediately goes up to another man and asks "hey man, you got any powder?"
I keep thinking I ought to vanish into the woods, or at least some variant of thereof.
Really it's because it's nearly 2 AM and the right woman still fucks with my brain in a way I wish it didn't
[frantically searching "how do I rid myself of all desire"]
Tracing the past: medieval vaults. Map of England with different vaults.
If you like a vault, you might like this project.
www.tracingthepast.org.uk
This season, just remember: ACAB includes the boys of the NYPD choir still singing "Galway Bay"
There are probably entertainment executives who are worse for the arts in a less flashy way, but if you'd hired Zaslav for the express purpose of ruining Warner Bros I'm not sure what he'd be doing differently
dream house tbh
I think I am going to run into the woods.
soon I’ll be wearing silk underwear and Moroccan slippers while taking a nice evening cigar from a zinc-lined box
Limerence is a bitch; I would love to stop falling for people.
Salammbô by Flaubert and Mason & Dixon, as well as odds and ends in the non-fiction area
on the audiobook front it's Robert Middlekauf's The Glorious Cause as "massive nonfiction tome" correlates one-to-one with naptime for me
The 1970s. A man with a beard an long hair goes "oh God, I'm so freakin' neurotic. I'm insanely Jewish. I'm all sexually fucked up and I jack off all the time." Another man with a moustache and long hair walks into frame and says congratualtions, here's your Pulitzer Prize." The Jewish man looks surprised.
damn, those are some low standards
I send Pizzicato Five songs to a girl from Rhode Island, not half an hour later she sends me a pic of her tits and another of her ass and I am in bed wondering if she likes me
In 2015 I was gonna do a Thanksgiving week video about how the turkey pardoning is a grift by the turkey industry lobby (true) that jokingly played it as a more serious issue than it is, but the ironic conspiracy tone fell apart when I found out the head of the turkey lobby is literally "Dr. Jihad"
Hell yeah
nailing my balls to the door of the All Saints Church in Wittenberg
The Gutenberg Bible is also called the 42 line bible, in tribute to the manner a cocaine-addicted Johannes Gutenberg chose to celebrate its printing.