The kids call it flapjacking and this new craze is sweeping the nation, leaving many parents worried their kids could be swept up

An Australian shepherd and bulldog stand together looking up a flight of outdoor stairs to the camera. They stand on a stone path in a grassy yard

Peritas ended up getting a playtime with miss Maggie but she's feeling under the weather, too, and didnt wanna play much 😔

I burnt my toast but my sense of taste is so fucked that I can't tell. Small win

The way I use social media I'm pretty sure it could just be an a notepad app with no internet connection that randomly put a little heart after my sentences and I'd be happier

No! Not tone anosmia!

I've been trying to think of a video game that would be fun to play since 8 this morning. So far nothin. Just sitting here in my chair resenting that my brain won't let me stop watching The Mentalist

My most toxic trait is my skin reacts with uv light to produce solanine. If you peel back my skin and its green under there, you shouldn't eat me

A google ai overview reading "Inguine (pronounced "in-GWEE-neh") is the Italian term for "groin". It refers to the anatomical area where the inner thigh meets the abdomen. It can also refer to the glandular flesh in that region. The term is used in medical contexts, such as inguinal hernia or lymphatic studies. Cambridge Dictionary Cambridge Dictionary +4 Key Information regarding "Inguine" (Groin): English Translation: Groin. Examples of Use: Colpo all'inguine (Kick in the crotch/groin)."

Google search algorithm: "Oh, you left a space between L and inguine but it's obvious you're probably searching for pasta."

Google AI:

TV shows are right that mental hospitals are for torture but they always go the wrong way with it. They're not making you a spotless white room to leave you in between sinister nurse visits. They will throw you into a filthy shared space with 40 other people whose names they don't know either

also, my fire alarm that goes off if you open the oven when it's on above 350 degrees, did not go off for the badly smoking pan whose seasoning I just ruined. Despite my house having a visible haze of smoke. So that's real fuckin awesome

This fuckin stovetop. On the left side, the rear burner is the right knob. On the right side, the rear burner is the left knob. Just designed to ruin pans

An Australian shepherd lies in the grass next to me, looking up to the camera

No Peri playtime today cause im sick but I did bundle up to sit in the yard with him for an hour

I found mint tea in the cupboard and as long as I am actively drinking it, I feel a little better

Even the bugs don't like broccoli! Vindication!

Something that freaks me out and you see far more frequently on TV than real life is when someone matches their lip color to their face makeup exactly and you can't tell where their lips start.

I'm a little broke and circumstance has provided me naught but toast and bean on which to sup. Honestly a solid meal. I don't get the slapstick reaction people have to it. I Even burned the toast and it's alright

Throat hurts too bad for weed. Sinuses hurt too bad for nicotine. Cold sweats but no fever. Why don't I just die then. Please?

A very handsome red Merle Australian shepherd sits nicely in a yellow neck kerchief looking at a point above and behind the camera

Will you give treat? No pets. Only treat.

I like legal eagle well enough but, like, I've never heard him talk about the values in his pitch in an episode. They're usually about how the judge in that American Dad trial episode was inaccurate.

I have a deep instinctive distrust of the people who produce those videos that are like 3 minutes of a profoundly ill or abused dog and then 30 seconds of them later being all happy. I don't think that's about the dog. I don't think you would fixate on the images of suffering like that if it was.

Anyway I have a cold and it's fucking my brain up

So the end product was a very distorted image of my own behavior and presentation generated by people who were unwilling to accurately relay my behavior and presentation as perceived externally. But, like, perceiving someone's intrinsic qualities as too insulting to acknowledge isn't not insulting.

One thing that really kinda fucked me up and would have done so much more profoundly if it had happened when I was younger was the way that people responded to my autism diagnosis by trying to assure me I wasn't like *those* autistic people.

I feel bad that I've stopped following hockey as much. Then I realize I'd have to pay for at least 2 different services to get the regular season and playoffs, and at least 3 to watch every game.

That's the NHL saying "we don't want you to watch" as far as I'm concerned

A red Merle Australian shepherd stretches on a grassy lawn in front of a children's swingset

Stretchin boy

They're designed that way because the principle of doing things without rhythm has been disastrous for their sex lives

Honestly fuck spring. This is some bullshit. Completely shot my cold tolerance with a week of 90 degree weather so now this 50 feels as cold as 20 did a few weeks ago. We need geoengineering so that we can flip the switch directly from one season to the next

A red merle Australian shepherd lies on a couch with his head back slightly. The effect is of a tiny head arising directly from.the shoulder of a large dog torso

Peritas ponders whether he has a huge neck or no neck at all

The builders tore up the strip of land between our property and the new neighborhood so for the first year I won't be hearing the foxes, groundhogs, and cats duking it out for the gardenside dens. It always made me so anxious but now I miss it

I truly believe this in my heart