astronaut comes home and wrings out a wet cloth but its so fucking mundane he starts crying and of course the tears fall to the ground and he gets so flippin angry

wish i was in space so i could wring out this wet cloth and have the best time ever

hey sir keir, do it stank!?
KS: sometimes!

modicum of something got me feeling bionic

but if u did that’d be funny it’d be like what the hell

omg dont actually

renaming the toaster the toasted bagler on account of the bagle it just toasted. oh what a wonderful life, we love to live and sing. thank you, toasted bagler

they would be mercilessly loved

phant

something jah vu about this day

fog wooo yeeea

Photo of Jupiter's southern hemisphere, with a few of its cloud bands visible. A string of four bright white circular storms is prominent near the equator.

A bit of #Jupiter (NASA / JPL-Caltech / SwRI / MSSS / David Marriott)

tmprs.jpg

🤖 image processing for #JWST 🔭 data (AT2026dbl). RGB Filters: 444, 356, 150
PI: LeBaron, Natalie, program 12569. CRVAL: 135.333178, 18.608102
Credits: NASA, ESA, CSA, STScI.

my hair is getting long i can’t decide whether to dye it and keep growing, shave my head, or get a regular haircut. thanks for your attention to this matter #hair

reckon ali carter will be somewhat relieved to not be playing ronnie

crazy nightmare i had about a blunt rotation. and you were there, and you were there

mr prime minister are you a total fucking idiot? an absurdly incompetent moron? a gullible liar and useful stooge who connived your way to the top, only to shit yourself in such gleeful abundance they liken you to a contemptible beast?
well first let me thank you for your question,

if i was keir starmer id cry and run out of there and go home and smoke weed and push the button

that cartoon leaf with bloodshot eyes stifling a laugh is incredibly swag jess

there should be cards and merchandise

might disappoint my dead dad in hell later and smoke some weed

happy 420 that one special day u can smoke weed on 4/20

i'm like afroman if he was completely different. love that guy

maybe the shops will have what i desire

what if i drizzled u so good u speakin burmese

what if i trapped ur soul in a jar of honey and the only way to cry out is by drizzling burmese on some berries. what then. ezactly

son perform autism for the lady please

in the sun im sizzling
honey got me drizzling

mmm these. Berries the burmese knees