surprise! baby girl is half baked 🤰💗

The sound you hear is the sound me adding another slide to my border crossing talk, pointing out that Hasan Piker is a US citizen, born in the US.

My honorable congressmember, you are not locked in there with them; they are locked in there with you. Act accordingly.

I think we all fall deeply in love with mass transit.

If you do a Nazi salute to own the libs or to troll or to generate discussion or to make a point you are still doing a Nazi salute.

Just spoke with former Officer Mike Fanone about the Biden pardon that covers him and other officers who testified before the Jan. 6 committee.

“This is a different kind of American exceptionalism. It’s exceptionally fucked up.”

I do not want your “groundbreaking AI legal tools.” Please stop emailing me about them.

my dog thinks the workday should be over and I think he may be correct

if you’re the type of person who has to repeatedly heat up your coffee this is for you: the yeti mug is worth it & keeps coffee hot better than those hot plate things meant to keep your mug warm. the cup of coffee I made around 9 am is just now starting to cool off 3.5 hours later you are welcome

so anyways, fuck the state of texas because even when your doctor says your baby has a 0% chance of viability you can do nothing but let him slowly die inside of you

as a born and raised texan I can say that this is nuts

Dear marketing people, PLEASE STOP making commercials with realistic sounding doorbells.

Thank you,
Dog owners everywhere

None of them were drag queens.

Kombucha Girl meme, where in the top panel she’s scowling in disgust next to the words: “When commercial brands pretend to banter on social media” Lower panel, she expresses some intrigue / curiosity next to the words: “When Pop-Tarts goes all-in on avant-garde theater of the absurd”

Yeah, who could have predicted this?

in case anyone was curious, being on bed rest while hosting visitors from out of state over the holidays is not a great time

”Originalists dig through the trash bin of history like racist raccoons looking for leftover oppression. Then they try to intellectualize this garbage behavior so they can maintain a veneer of legitimacy. Yet their mask is slipping.”

@audrelawdamercy.bsky.social’s Originalism Trap is where it’s at.

MOST FAMOUS ART FROM EVERY DENOMINATION and it has the last super for Catholic, Trinity by Rublev for Orthodox, and the veggies takes for Protestants because it’s good to make fun of Protestants esp. evangelicals

friendly reminder to use your FSA dollars asap! plan b (which may be more difficult to come by in the near future) is eligible! there is also an FSA/HSA eligible tab on Amazon!

I bet the one thing all the experts agree on is that neither of these clowns should be remotely involved in matters of public health

stargazer lily, strawberry, bunny

It appears that the person who ratted out this 20-year old Texas abortion patient to the cops was the man who impregnated her, which leads me to my sad but essential reminder: if you are having an abortion in a ban state, tell as few people as possible, and importantly, do not tell your boyfriend.

have had to get daily intramuscular injections for the past 23 days. Only 37 left to go 🥲

in related news, my butt hurts

“As long as two men kissing sparks more outrage than a man hitting a woman, there will always be something wrong in this world”

Thank you for your email. As you are likely aware, I am mentally checked out until 2025 and will be unable to provide a response to your inquiry until then. If you have any questions, that’s unfortunate.

Seattle!

Chuck Schumer should immediately announce Democrats will accede to Trump's wishes here and do away with the Electoral College once and for all.

Here's that bipartisan push the pundits are looking for. Let's go!